Bad Breath Looms Like Fog Over Relationship

Dear Dee:
I am totally in love with the guy I am dating and we've been together 2 years. There really is only one thing I can't stand about him and unfortunately, it filters into several other areas of our relationship though.

Dee, he has the worst breath ever. It sometimes makes me gag and I swear I love him! But it is really, really hard to kiss him. Do you have any advice at all?

Ewwww. So sorry you have to deal with this. And the fact you've put up with it for 2 years is testament to your dedication to the relationship. So since breaking up is out of the question and I imagine you've thought of all the ordinary remedies (breath mints, making sure he has good hygiene habits) it's probably time for some real intervention.

You've been dating for two years now. So, you've probably talked about most everything and should see if there is an actual medical problem.

You might ask how you approach such a topic with someone. And believe me, it's not a conversation I'd want to have either, but if you tell him how much you love him and want to kiss and love of him, but this hinders the experience, maybe you can kind of 'soften' the blow so to speak.

I wish I could give you more advice, but I really think the doctor is the next step.

Unless, you just want to automatically pop a breath mint in his mouth the second before he kisses you ... Now that might be interesting. and kinda funny.

'Open up sweetie ... now ... pucker up ...'

Thanks, Katy Perry ... Your Song Did It Again

I am 14 and I am bi-curious.
I have known for a few years now. No one knows except my closest friends. Well of course, there is a girl. We have been best friends for 2 years now. I finally got the courage to tell her I am bi-curious. I'm sure she has always known.

Well, a few days later, she told me she liked me. I cannot tell you how happy I was. But she had a boyfriend at the time, which confused me more. She told me I came first no matter what. She told me she wanted to kiss me. (though she still had a boyfriend). Well, she came over and we kissed. Weeks passed and we couldn't see each other because she was grounded. But every time I saw her at school, she would always be with her boyfriend and not even leave him for a second.

We got in a huge fight that lasted about a week. I told her she blew me off. And she lied to me when she said I came first. I know this sounds very selfish, but even if I didn't have a crush on her, it would still hurt because she is my best friend. We finally made up and she came over a few days ago. She told me she probably wouldn't even date a girl. And she said she is straight. and it's understandable, I mean it's high school.

But now she is faking with me as well. I don't know what to do. She told me I was the only girl she wanted to date, and now a few weeks passed and she doesn't like me at all in that way.

Any advice?

Thanks to Katy Perry, a lot of girls are jumping on the 'I kissed a girl and I liked it ... I hope my boyfriend don't mind it' bandwagon. And while the tune is, I'll admit really fun to listen to (totally have it on my iPod) -- acting out the lyrics can leave true heartache in its wake. So, Thanks Katy ... too bad you're not around to offer advice.

There is no question whatsoever about your friend -- she totally jerked you around. She took your very vulnerable state, decided to experiment and totally played you. Some friend, huh?

But I do have to say I can't believe you fell for it. You already knew she had a boyfriend. So you kinda asked to be hurt here.

So what now? Well, one thing stands out -- the way this chick is acting now, shows she's not a very good friend and only cares about herself. She shouldn't be in a relationship with anyone -- guy, girl or whatever -- because she can't face the consequences of her own actions. And as Hermione Granger from Harry Potter she has the 'emotional maturity of a teaspoon.'

How are you going to deal with this? Well, hopefully better than your so-called friend. Face it head on and get over it. She was your friend. She screwed you over and while it hurts, you've got to move on.

So what do you do now? Well, first off -- figure out who you are. Figure out what you want. And most of all, realize what you do has consequences and you are making choices right now that will define you as a person. Being 14 is hard enough without throwing all this other stuff into it. So take a step back and try to enjoy life. Sure there is pain along the way and there are choices to make. But don't jump into things. You've got time.

Yep. Church Girls Get Crushes, Too ...

Dear Dee:
OK, so I like this boy who goes to my church. He is absolutely gorgeous! I have been going to this church for a couple years now and he plays lead guitar every Sunday morning for worship.

I can't seem to talk to this guy, though. The only time I get to see him is church on Sunday and Youth Group on Wednesday. I don't think he has any idea who I am and it makes me sad because I don't have the guts to talk to him.

I wouldn't even know what to say. Plus, I'm not the most attractive girl at my church compared to all the other ones. Can you please help me finally get this guy to notice me? I'd really appreciate it .

Rule No. 1: You have to believe in yourself.
Rule No. 2: You have to KNOW you're good enough for this guy.
Rule No. 3: Don't compare yourself to other girls. ...

There are other rules, but hey ... some of this you have to figure out for yourself. Nothing good ever comes of looking at the girls around you and comparing yourself. Believe me, I know this is difficult, because I still do it to this day! But you are your own person with your own unique qualities, talents, abilities and yes, your own special look.

Who care if you're not a cookie-cutter Barbie doll or a model-esque beauty? You're you. And you need to find out how to showcase who you are. If people (mainly this guitar-playing hottie) can't recognize that, then that's his problem. Because sooner or later honey, someone will.

Now, even though I love them dearly, guys are generally clueless (SORRY!). So, finding out whether or not he's into you might be up to you and some keen observations. Don't go out of your way to be overly flirty and most definitely don't throw yourself at him, but gather up all the courage you have and talk to him!

You have an automatic 'in' every single time you hear him play! Go tell him how much you love a guitar solo he plays or how he interprets a certain song you all are singing. YOU have to make the move here to find out what's going on behind that musician's cute face.

Are other girls throwing themselves at him? While it's a church setting, I don't doubt the other girls in your group find him irresistible, too. So be the stand-out girl who doesn't fall all over him. Just talk to him, show a little interest and leave it at that. Find ways the other girls aren't utilizing. Be unique. Be yourself.

Look, you can do this. You are a capable young woman who obviously wants to know what the possibilities are. And in order to do this, you've got to take matters into your own hands. Where most girls make mistakes, is they fall all over a guy, don't hold back and end up getting hurt because they wore their feelings on their sleeves. Don't do that. Stay in control and play it right.

And if it turns out he likes you, great! And if not, well -- use this as an experience for next time. Hey, you might find out that behind that rocker's exterior, he's shy and insecure himself -- OR you might find out he's a big jerk ... Either way, seems like the it's all up to you!

So go get him ... I believe in ya.

Bummer! First Relationship a Real Dud

Dear Dee:
A few weeks ago I met this boy and he was interested in me and I was interested in him too.

He's friends with a few of my friends, so we were all hanging out a lot. I was stoked because I was told he wanted to ask me out, I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship- so I thought everything was going to be great.

Well we started hanging out alone and I realized I really didn't like him like I thought I did. I have more fun when its him and a few other people. When its just him and I, it's kind of boring and we run out of things to talk about. Since I've been around him more he's not really the person I thought he was.

I don't see him as boyfriend material because of the way he acts. The thing is, I think he might ask me out soon. I really like him as a friend, but I can't see him as anything else.

Sometimes I think I like him, but other times I don't. I want to give him a chance though because I know if it was me I would want the other person to give me a chance, but I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings.

This is the first time I've dealt with something like this and I don't know what I should do because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. I've been wanting to be in a relationship so badly and I thought this would be perfect, but it doesn't seem to be working out so far.

I'm so confused and was hoping you could give me any kind of advice to hopefully help me out, I would appreciate it so much.

Well, it's pretty cut and dry, really. You don't like him as a boyfriend. So don't go out with him.

I know you said you want to give him a chance, but you've already made up your mind you don't think he's boyfriend material. You've already given him a chance by spending time with him and hanging out with him one on one. I don't think you need to take it any farther than that.

This is the problem we face when we put ourselves on the dating market -- sometimes, we have to say no. And unfortunately, you're having to say 'no' before you've gotten to say 'yes.' When you talk to him, be kind. But be direct. Let him know you've enjoyed hanging out with him as a friend, but you don't think anything beyond friendship is possible. It might him him hard, but he'll get over it and both of you will feel better because you were honest and up front. If you can't do this, then you're not ready to date. It's just that simple.

And don't let this experience get you down! There are plenty of other guys out there and you've already been through a let down -- so hopefully the next one will be easier -- and more your type.

Guy Who's 'Like a Brother' Might Want More

I have an uneasy situation.
There's a guy who is just like a brother to me. I rarely talk to him because I feel a little shy with boys.
The other day, he and his friends decided to have dinner at our house for the whole family. I was invited. All of his friends and his brother kept teasing him and saying he liked me.
He acted strangely that day -- it seemed like he dressed differently, too -- like he was careful to dress really nice. After dinner, we decided to sing songs. He chose a song that means, in English, ' I will stop everything just to be with you.
My sister thinks something is going on, too. In fact, she seems mad about it.
I don't feel anything like that towards him. Why can't he just be a good brother to me, and that's it? This is making my heart ache and my headache. I don't want to be miserable wondering how he feels and if it will ruin what we already have.

I am hoping, in all the editing I got your question right up here. What country are you from? I am thrilled to have international readers!

So, the basic problem is: there's this guy, who is like a brother to you -- and has been forever. But now you think he has romantic feelings for you and you're not sure you want to go there because it might ruin what you have already. And, you're not even sure if you can or would like him in any other way BUT as a big brother, right?

Well, you need to go with your instincts here. If you value this guy as a part of your family and you don't think of him romantically, then don't entertain the thought. Don't jeopardize what you already have.

Now if his behavior continues to indicate he has stronger feelings for you, you may have to talk to him and let him know where you stand. And if you have to do that, be gentle. Be deliberate and make sure to let him know how important he is to you -- as a brother -- as a family member -- as someone you can count on.

There may be people in your family who push you towards this relationship, but remember it's your feelings that count here. Don't do something because your family wants you to. Don't let anyone force you into a relationship. You know how you feel so stand by it.

Things may be a little awkward for awhile, but work through it and be patient. It'll all work out.

New Crush Faces Age-Old Problem ... A Jerk

Dear Dee:
OK. So lately I've started to form a crush. He's super cute and he's so sweet to me when it's just me and him alone.

However when he's around his friends he acts kind of mean. I'm guessing he's just trying to show off. I really really like him and I want a relationship. I don't know if he's allowed to date or anything though. How do I find out if he likes me? I just want to communicate how I feel to him but I don't know how.

Don't you ever ... ever ... ever make excuses for a guy not treating you right. Who cares how he treats you in private, if when he gets around others, he is mean, ashamed or a complete ass to you. A REAL nice guy knows how to treat a lady right in public and in private.

I can't reiterate this to you enough ... Don't let this get out of hand and don't start putting up with it now. You're young. And right now, you are establishing patterns for the rest of your life. If you put up with this kind of behavior from a punk now, you always will. And that's not the kind of person you want to become. See things for what they are, honey. He's a jerk -- OR just not old enough to know how a guy should treat a girl.

So, what do you do now? Do you tell him how you feel? Absolutely not. Do not let him have that kind of control over you. He obviously already knows you like him and he thinks he can get away with this type of split-personality behavior. Show him he can't.

Ignore him. Only speak to him when he speaks to you. And don't give any more than you have to. In fact, the best thing to do would probably be to move on and find someone else worthy of your affections! Maybe he'll shape up. Who knows -- maybe by playing it cool, you'll show him what he's missing out on and he'll wake up. You can't ever tell. But either way, be on your guard.

Hey, sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but it is very important to me to make sure you know you are worth more than being kind to only part of the time. You are worth being sweet to at all times. And, you deserve to be treated right 24/7.

A real guy -- mature enough to handle any type of friendship or relationship with a girl -- knows this. Unfortunately, too many guys in this world haven't gotten the memo. And girls like us? Well, we have to watch out for them and make sure they know we've got that memo memorized ... down to the letter.

Friendless & In Need of Cheer ...

Dear Dee:
There's this girl at school who I used to be really good friends with. She seemed really sweet and nice when I met her but she turned out to be super crazy, mean, a liar and a typical mean popular girl. I started ignoring and avoiding her because I didn't want to be friends with her anymore, to you know, get away from this intense drama.

Now she's going around trashing me and telling my friends to stop talking to me...I'm depressed and a little scared. What do I do Dee? How do I get cheerful again?

There is something I have discovered over the last few years -- and I think you need to hear it. Happiness is a choice. It is a state of mind and a direct reflection of how you see yourself and how you react to those around you. While your situation does suck, and a person can't be peppy and happy 100 percent of the time, you can snap yourself out of the funk you are in. Just choose to do so.

Don't know how you 'ended' your friendship to this mean brat. I am hoping you did it in such a way that didn't provoke this type of backlash, but regardless, ending a friendship usually causes some hard feelings. All you can do is ride this out and delight in the fact you're a better person without this friend then you were with her. Take comfort in knowing you did the right thing and in that fact you handled the situation to the best of your ability!

Now, if you didn't handle the situation correctly, maybe you should try to make it right. Talk to this girl. Apologize for ending your friendship on a bad note, and let her know you're sorry. Maybe this mean girl has a soft side and will stop the stupidness ... you never know!

I can't reiterate enough how important it is for you, though, to have confidence in your choices and determine within yourself to be content and happy. Believe me, it is much easier to be miserable -- it's cold outside, rules suck, a person never has enough money for shopping, etc -- circumstances generally are crappy! BUT this is no way to live a life -- especially a life that's as full of potential as yours is (and I promise, it's true). You will be a better, healthier, stronger person if you simply choose to be happy and snap out of your depression.

Now, there are types of depression that need medical attention or therapy, etc and if you feel you're in that category, seek help from an adult you trust immediately. If you are unsure, be sure to talk to someone.

I wish you the best.

Bratty Dorm Mate Acts Like Preschooler

Dear Dee:
I am sorry to disturb you when you must be very busy. My problem might not seem big to you, but I feel really burdened by it. If I tell my parents, which I can only do via Skype because I'm away from home in another country at the moment, they might tell me just to get back home. Maybe I should... But I still don't want to give up this chance.

Anyway, I live in a dorm for foreign students at the moment, and it's well, like dorms are. The only problem is my neighbour. No matter how often I ask her to please be quite at night, and no matter if the dorm rules say keep quite after 11 pm, she keeps waking me up by stomping around in her room or banging her door at night. When I put on a sign saying "asleep" on my door, she gets even louder and bangs her door several times in a row - like to wake me up on purpose.

I wonder why she hates me like that. She acts sweet around me and asks if I was able to sleep at night when someone else is around, but as soon as I'm gone, she badmouths me to my friends, so I can't go to their lounge anymore. She has taken over my place now, it seems, and every time she stomps in her room, I get reminded of that fact.

The dorm people would like to help me, but if they tell her to keep quiet, she will know immediately it comes from me and the problem is, when I still thought we could be friends (or believed in her pretending to be my friend and cooked her food and stuff), I told her that I like this guy, and if she gets mad at me, she might tell him.

I asked if I can change rooms or move to another dorm, but that seems hardly possible. I can't concentrate in class anymore because I don't get enough sleep at night. I feel really, really sad and left-alone. Any advice for me?

This girl is obviously the worst-behaved person on the face of the earth -- not to mention the most juvenile. Has she ever heard of manners? Give me a freaking break. This isn't grade school. She needs to grow up and solve her problems like an adult rather than stomping around like a spoiled toddler. Maybe the dorm chaperons should put her in the corner for a time out -- as it seems she has the emotional mentality of a 4-year-old brat. Ugh. Gotta hate people like this.

But I guess my rant doesn't help you at all, does it (I feel a little better!). Look, you're handling this right. It sounds like the program you are in is a huge opportunity -- a once-in-a-lifetime gig. So, sticking it out is the right thing to do. But obviously sleep is key to the enjoyment and success of you in this program.

I don't recall you saying you had confronted her about why she treats you in this manner. If you honestly don't know why she acts this way to you, you need to confront her on it. She's more than likely a big, bratty bully and needs to be aware you're in on her games and not going to stand for it.

Try to be polite about it, but firm. Tell her she's disturbing you and while you don't want to resort to such measures, if the two of you can't come to a compromise, you will need to report her.

Let her know you're willing to work things out -- fix whatever has made her pissy -- and be friends. If this simply doesn't work, then your only resort, I am afraid is to either suffer through her stupidity in sleeplessness, or ... tell on her. You could take it a step farther and give her a taste of her own medicine, but hey ... errrr ... I don't condone revenge ...

Obviously, the girl is affecting you, your friendships and your overall experience. Don't let her ruin it for you. Don't give her that satisfaction. Stand up to her. Be the mature one and try to work through it. All you can do is try. And if that doesn't work, I know a website where you can find some way nasty pranks to play on fellow dorm mates ... all you gotta do is google 'dorm pranks' ... seriously.

Best friends & family make world crash in

Dear Dee:
I feel like my life is falling apart. My best friend is giving me the cold shoulder for no reason. We didn't get into a fight or anything but she suddenly has hostility towards me. I just found out my other friend has been telling my best friend just about everything I say.

Is it possible my best friend's distance is caused by a miscommunication between her and my other friend? To top everything off, my mom and sister keep fighting and screaming at each other.

I feel like I have nowhere that can be my escape. My escape was always my friends, but now since things changed, I always feel trapped everywhere I go. And I feel like the problems in my life are caused by me, so I'm constantly analyzing everything I do. What do I do? I feel like I'm running out of options.

You are not trapped. You are letting circumstances get the best of you.

Who knows what's up with your friends -- if your best friend is playing you against your other friends, then it's time to evaluate who your real friends are. Show them you don't take that kind of BS and sit them down and find out what the deal is. If no resolution comes from you confronting them head on, then show them their pettiness isn't going to get the best of you (even though it hurts like crazy). You can do this!

Come on. You know this. There has been numerous movies on the subject -- girls are mean and vicious. Sometimes, these mind games are their main sources of amusement! You can either keep playing into it by moping around or you can face it head on and deal with it by working out the issues, or walking away from the friendships if they're not healthy for you.

As for your home life, if your sister's and mother's bickering is getting to you, you have got to let your mother know. She needs to know her behavior towards your sister, and your sister's towards her is affecting your emotional sanity. Your momma probably doesn't realize how it is affecting you and I am sure she'd try to come up with a solution. And if not, then it's time to talk to someone you trust -- i.e. another family member, pastor, trusted adult -- who can mediate the situation.

Hang in there. Don't lose hope. You are an important young lady and your world is not falling apart. You are just overwhelmed by situations that mean a lot to you -- but don't let these situations define you. Find solace in things that make you happy -- a hobby, school, a walk outside. Find a quiet place. Take a step back and most of all, breathe.

Two best friends, a boyfriend and whole lot of drama

Dear Dee:
I've been dating this guy for about 8 months now, and I really love him. We've been through a lot together, before and after we started going out. There was a point in time, though, that he started getting into other things.

He was drinking more, smoking, and meeting all these girls through his band. When I said something to him about it, he got really pissed off. He broke up with me, and I was heartbroken. He started leading me on, saying he loved me and what not. But, then, went out with some other chick and said he didn't feel the same way about me. I know he sounds like a prick, but he still meant a whole lot to me and I didn't want to lose him.

So, we started hanging out as friends and I met some new people through him. My life was really starting to look up, and I developed a little crush on a friend of his. My ex broke up with his new girl and told me he still loved me. I thought about it for a week or so, and chose my ex.

I made it very clear that if he didn't clean it up, we would be over in a second. He promised, and four months later has kept to his word. He joined a new band, one that influenced him in a good way. He quit smoking, and he doesn't drink as much. He cares for me, and is overall a good boyfriend.

I'm still best friends with the one guy I had a crush on before. I have a lot of fun with him, but I don't have the same feelings as I did before. He doesn't either, and I hooked him up with this other chick. His and my boyfriend's friendship deteriorated, though. They're incredibly competitive with each other about their music. They got in this huge fight about who was leader of the first band, and whether each other's timing was off, etc. It was really stupid. So, I introduced my other best friend to crush guy. We all hung out, and they're friendship got pretty tight. Now, I kind of feel as I'm being kicked out of the three.

I'm always the bud of jokes and they don't seem to ever take me seriously. I feel like I'm losing them, and it's killing me.
Well, the reason I told you about my boyfriend's and my rocky past is that my two best friends always use this against me. They're telling me all the time that he's not who I think he is, and that he says crap about me all the time.

They say that he complains about me a lot, and flirts with other girls. Knowing what's happened before, I'm not totally closed to this. But, at the same time, I know where my friendship with them is going, so I don't really know what to think. Whenever I say I'm going to confront him about it, they try to stop me because they know he'll know it was them who said anything to me in the first place.

So, finally I got fed up with hearing all this, and called him up and asked him about it. I was firm, and made my point clear. Of course, he denied everything that was said and got extremely pissed off at them.

So, my two best friends are a little mad at me for getting them "involved", and my boyfriend's pissed at them for "making up crap". I don't like the fact that I got them in trouble with him, but it was getting to the point that it was necessary to say something. I feel in my heart that my boyfriend's sincere, but at the same time I can't imagine my friends lying to me.
What do I do?

It's always this constant thing between the two parties. I don't want to lose either of them. But, it's getting kind of ridiculous.

Um, do you live smack dab in the middle of drama central? Geez. I feel sorry for you -- this is ridiculous and tedious. It seems like a big waste of time, energy and emotional turmoil.

My gut reaction -- and I am going to be way honest here -- is really that this guy you're dating is a big loser. The fact you even entertain what your friends are saying tells me you don't trust him or have faith in your relationship.

The history you've explained shows me he doesn't really 'want' you, but is willing to play the part so no one else can have you either. He wants you as an arm ornament and when you're not around, you're a punchline. You're better than this. You deserve better.

I can only imagine the pain this causes you to hear, but i have a feeling you know it's true -- whether you're on good terms with these friends or not -- you know there's truth in what they're telling you.

It's time for you to step back, maybe cut yourself off from this group for awhile, and really gain perspective and order in your life. This type of drama can control every single aspect of your life until it consumes you to a point of non function. Get away from it. Clear your head. Get yourself back t0 basics and figure out what you should be doing in order to be successful, sane and virtually stress free.

It'll be hard, but it's the thing to do. You need a break! Your sanity depends on it.

Also consider whether or not these are the real people you should be hanging with. The drugs, the alcohol, etc -- it's not a good road and can only lead to more trouble.

Hope this helps ... and don't hate me for being brutally honest.

From Pen Pal to Addiction ... But There's More ...

I went on a chat room site out of boredom once, and met a cheeky and funny girl. I had no idea what she looked like and never asked how old she was. We had a laugh, and she gave me her MSN add.

I never added a stranger before, but I thought "why not?!". I then saw her picture, and found her to be very pretty. So I guess I had the extra motivation to continue talking to her. Eventually I found out she was 16, but I'm 20. It didn't really matter, I just thought of her as a pen pal anyway.

About 2 months after meeting her online, we realized we had spoken to each other every day! We got on really well and I was starting to get addicted to her. I was going away for the weekend and didn't want to end our run of 2 months without speaking each day. So we exchanged numbers.

I've even done loads of video calls with her (which she suggested, some lasting up to 7 hours) and still, I can't get enough of her! I actually only live 30 minutes drive from where she lives, which probably made it more exciting when we first met. But I am currently working abroad for 1 year. Which doesn't allow me to meet her freely or get into a relationship. I've told her I have a crush on her, and she told me that she feels the same way about me too.

I want to see her during my Christmas break to see if we are comfortable in person, but I have so many questions running around my mind. To sum a few of them up: - Is it right for me to feel this way about a 16-year-old girl? If someone asked me, "would you date a 16 year old?", I would have said no. But now that this is happening to me, I am starting to feel differently.

Is it possible to feel this way about someone you met on the internet? Even if I have seen her in video calls, but not met her in person. - Is it good that I am out of the country for 1 year? When I move back, she will be 17, whether that would make it better? Does it prove that I can't possibly want to rush her into anything? I know 4 years shouldn't be a big deal. But 16-20 does feel morally bigger. Hence why I am asking for an opinion.

Hey thanks for the question. I am impressed you're debating this within and it shows you have character and want to do the right thing.

The difference between 16-20 IS morally bigger than an adult age difference. It just is. Your life experiences are different, your needs are different and your worldviews are different. Remember, this girl still has to get permission from mom and dad to stay out past 10 on a school night -- that's not something you have to do now, is it?

I have no doubt your feelings are real. People fall in love over the internet all the time! It is a perfectly acceptable way to meet someone -- as long as you're careful and smart.

If you really want to stay in touch with this girl, I don't really see a problem with it as long as you absolutely INSIST she tell her parents. My gut tells me she hasn't done that. And nothing would look worse to a parent than finding out, on their own, that their teen daughter had been talking online with a sneaky 20-year-old. Sounds icky, right? Well it is. So, be the stand-up mature guy you are and tell her you're not going to talk to her anymore until she tells her parents.

Secondly, if you do want to spend some time with her over the holidays, make sure her parents are cool with it, that you respect her curfew, their wishes and most of all, the fact this girl is still a minor. And don't delude yourself into thinking this girl is beyond her years -- she may be more mature -- she may be your soul mate -- and she may just be the best thing that's ever happened to you -- but nothing good can come of it if you don't respect where she is in her life and the fact she lives under different rules than you right now.

Your going away is actually a good thing. It'll keep you two out of trouble, it'll help you see if there's any real potential there and lastly, it'll give her another year to grow up.

Tread lightly here, my friend and use your common sense. Don't rush anything. Keep everything on the up and up and be respectful of her parents and her age. Hopefully, that'll help you keep things in perspective and allow you to figure out what your next steps are.

Good luck!

When Girls Get Bitchy, Watch Out ...

Dear Dee:
I have been friends with this one girl for about 4 years. One of my other friends and I have been friends with for almost 14 years now.

For the last few days, they have both been giving another one of our friends and I the cold shoulder.

The most annoying thing is, I DON'T KNOW WHY!!!! We can't think of one single thing we have done wrong to make them suddenly hate us. And it's not just not chatting on MSN; it's full blown ignoring in the hall, sitting with a different group, refusing to talk to us.

We tried to talk to them at school but they just walked straight past us. We seriously have no clue whats going on and they refuse to answer our emails and texts. I don't know what I've done but I know I can't fix it till I know what I did. I also know there is no way I'm gonna know until they tell me... which they won't.

When girls get bitchy, petty or just temperamental, people get hurt.

Sounds like your two friends, who are ignoring you and your other friend seriously have their own issues.

If you can't think of a reason you've offended the snootie, snotty, snobby sisters (enough 's'es for ya?), then don't worry about it. I know it's difficult, especially since you've all been friends for so long, but sometimes girls just get petty, silly and downright mean. When that happens and you're the receiver of these feelings, you have to ride it out and wait for the girls to grow up and get over it. If you don't know what you did wrong, then it is NOT your job to fix it.

Friends, even ones who've been together for as long as you have, can grow apart -- get different interests and 'stop' being friends. It sucks, but it's part of growing up and maturing. You and your remaining friend could simply be discovering, that in reality, these other girls weren't your true friends -- and your interests have taken you in different directions. You could also be getting a taste of what their true colors are. It happens.

It hurts, but it's bearable. Enjoy the friendship with your remaining friend, make some new ones and don't let the other two girls know they've gotten under your skin. If they really have no reason to act like this to you two, then don't give them the satisfaction of a response -- especially since you've already made the effort to find out what the issue is, and they've refused to man up and tell you.

Sounds to me like you've found out who your true friend is ... and she's a keeper.

Saying Goodbye Is Not Really Saying Goodbye

Dear Dee:
How do you handle saying goodbye to someone you really like?

Whether it's someone moving away or other circumstances causing distance in a relationship, saying goodbye is never, ever easy.

But in today's world, goodbye is such a loose term. Unless the person is actually travelling back in time to the stone ages, there's constant ways to stay in communication with the person you're crushing on -- whether they're in Boston, LA or Timbuktu. Seriously, goodbyes aren't permanent anymore and they don't mean 'I'll never ever see or talk to you again.' They just mean 'we may not be in the same proximity to actually touch, but we can still keep in touch like crazy and even get on Skype or OOVO and video chat! By the way, I'll text you in about an hour.'

Sorry. I am not making fun of the fact you're not going to get to see someone you really care about in the flesh that often. I am just trying to soften the blow by saying it's not as bad as it seems. And if you're really want to keep in touch with this person and he/she you, then there's no reason you can't.

Now, on the solemn side, if this is someone you don't feel you can talk to anymore and you're saying goodbye as a symbolic 'end' to a relationship, just give it time. Feelings don't leave overnight and it'll take some time to heal and get over the breakup or parting of ways. But it is doable. Try to keep yourself busy and surrounded by people you love. While solitude is probably your preference, it's not the best way for you to move on -- save the moping for before bed time and while doing your homework (I'd say save it for during class, but I don't need teachers sending me hate mail ...).

Hopefully, this is a goodbye that's situational -- moving, changing schools, etc. And you can keep in touch but if not, take things one step at a time. Let yourself feel it, mourn it, and heal.

Kentucky Teen Pregnant, Searching

Dear Dee:
Hello. I live in a small town in Kentucky. I'm also 15 years old and 23 weeks pregnant. I am writing you this because I need some advice. I don't know what to do. I'm still living at home with my parents, not old enough to have a job. I know I don't want to abort my baby boy, so if you can write me back I really need your advice. Please please write me back as soon as possible.

You definitely have a lot of hard decisions to make, honey. And you've already made it through some of them -- you decided against abortion and you've stayed with your parents so they can help you.

You didn't mention involvement of the dad here, so I am going to assume there really isn't any, so that makes it that much harder for you. But it isn't the time to focus on the fact you have hard decisions to make -- it's time to face the problems and make decisions because you're running out of time. That baby will be here before you know it and you need to be prepared and committed.

You are so young to be dealing with this, but unfortunately, now you have to make adult decisions -- regardless of your age. So let's talk about options.

Of course, adoption is out there. There are tons of very very capable families who would love to open their homes and hearts to your sweet baby boy. Some even are open adoptions, allowing the mother to chose the family and even be apart of that family in some way if she wishes. I don't know your family situation -- how you get on with your parents, etc. so it's hard to know what's best for you -- but honey, you know your heart.

Keeping this baby is always an option. But with that comes more responsibility than you can possibly imagine. It doesn't mean you suddenly drop out of school and become a mom. It means you're a mom who needs to stay in school, so she can get an education to provide for her baby. It means you have to let others in your family, those in your church and your friends help you make the best life possible for another person who is totally dependant on you. It is not something you can do half way -- because if you chose to keep this child, you're commitment has to be ironclad. Your child deserves nothing less.

It can be done. It really can be. I am testament to that (read my teen pregnancy story), as is my now 19-year-old who is in college. But it was hard and I had help -- a supportive family, a strong drive to always want to succeed and provide for him -- and a love for him that still is more than I can explain.

Being a young momma is rewarding -- but only if you are willing and able to make the sacrifices and choices that are right for your child. If you can't honestly say you will do whatever possible to make sure this child has the best life possible, then you aren't equipped to handle this. Be realistic and be true to what you know to be right and best for this baby.

Let your parents help you. Talk to a pastor, youth leader or someone you can trust about your options and your struggles. Feel free to utilize one of the pregnancy hotlines I have listed as well. If you truly are seeking to do what is best for this baby -- not only yourself -- then you'll make the right choice.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!