Finding Out Someone's Cheating

Dear Dee: My issue doesn't actually have to do with me, but with a friend of mine. He just found out his dad cheated on his mom (apparently it wasn't the first time). He's really hurt and angry, but I don't know what to say. What should I do? How can I help him?

This is an earth-shattering realization for someone to find out - especially when that person still lives under the same roof as his/her parents. The thing is there's not a whole lot you can do or say except continue to be a friend and be supportive.

What your friend is feeling ranges from anger because of the fact his dad is hurting the family as a whole and has betrayed the trust/love/respect everyone in the family has for him, as the family leader. Your friend is probably also angry as heck that his dad has deliberately hurt his mom. And yes, it is deliberate. Cheating is a choice - the dad chose to break his wedding vows and he chose to cause pain and family troubles by doing it.

This will take time. Your friend needs you to be there to hear him out, allow him to vent his anger and even talk to you about his pain. And through the listening, the ‘just being there' and the overall support you give, your friend will heal. And he'll then realize that while his dad made a terrible choice, he's human. And hopefully, he'll forgive him.

Who knows what changes will take place in his family - but whether his parents decide to stay together or split, your friend will need you to be strong. And regardless of whether you have words of wisdom to share with him, just remember a listening ear is probably all he needs.