Morning After Regrets Cause Tears

Dear Dee:
I love the site! You always give good advice.

But my problem is, I had protected sex, and I feel guilty I'm not married to my lover yet. I don't want to get married until I'm in my 20's, but I just couldn't wait.

But I loved my boyfriend so much, I didn't want to risk waiting too long and have us break up before we did anything. But I am to the point where I am nearly crying because I didn't wait for marriage.

Here's a hug for confidence.

OK. Let's get something straight. You could've waited. You just didn't. Be honest with yourself. If this guy was the one, he would've waited, too. And really, it kind of sounds like you don't think he's the guy for you. You said it yourself you didn't want to risk waiting too long and have you two break up without doing anything. And frankly, that's what you're supposed to do! You're supposed to WAIT for the right one!

But anyway, admit these things to yourself and then forgive yourself. It's not the end of the world. Take the way you feel right now and remind yourself of it when you're thinking of throwing virtue to the wind. You are worth waiting for. You really, really are. But the first person you have to convince is YOURSELF. Also, remember WHY you want to wait ... and the answer to this is ... Because it's the right thing to do!

Seriously. There is nothing you can do about what you've done. But you can recommit to abstinence and this time make it a commitment you're not going to break. Talk to your boyfriend about this and let him know how important it is to you to keep this commitment. If he cares about you then he'll understand your decision to wait and he'll totally respect it.

So now dry those tears. You've got some thinking to do.