Big-Mouthed Jerk Ruins Her Reputation

Dear Dee:
I'm 15 and I've been dating this guy for two years, and then he got me to have sex with him. I feel really bad about it because of our age difference he's 17. Now every time I look at him I cringe at the thought of what we did, it's eating me away, and then he told his stupid football friends and now I'm known as the school whore, which isn't true. I did it one time and suddenly I'm a whore!

I've lost all of my friends, I've lost my dignity and my parents' trust. I wish I could rewind time and take this all back but I know I can't. Did I make a horrible decision doing this? My dad tells me I'm a disgrace to the family. Did I make the wrong choice? did I totally kill my future?

You did make a bad choice -- but you didn't need me to tell you that. You already know it. Now, stop dwelling on it, get over it and get your reputation back. Don't let one stupid misstep define who you are. EVERYONE makes mistakes.

This guys is a fantastic loser. He is the reason many women think men are dogs. And let me tell you something that'll make you feel really, really great: Karma is a BITCH! He'll get his, honey.

His behavior proves he's egotistical, clearly not a gentleman and most definitely not mature enough to handle anything even close to a relationship. And, most of all the pig doesn't even know what he's done to his own reputation among the other girls in the school. Who wants to be with a guy who doesn't respect a girl enough to NOT kiss and tell? What an idiot. (Hey, feel free to tape this to his locker ... make sure to tell him it's from me ... I would love it if the jerk wrote to me ... I love telling off stupid guys.)

So sorry for the rant. It's just one of those days .... ANYWAY ... you are not ruined merchandise. You're not a second-class citizen. You're a young girl who made a bad choice. It will take awhile, but you can regain your parents' trust. You can make others forget about this and you definitely can move on.

One thing I am sure of: Through some of the biggest mistakes in our lives, we are forced to make a huge decision ... we can either let that mistake define us or we can learn from it and become stronger, better people.

You might ask me 'what could I possibly learn from this?' And to that question, I'd say you've learned:
-- You're not ready for a sexual relationship
-- You understand how important your reputation is
-- You realize how valuable and precious trust is
-- You know what kind of guy you want to date and the kind you want to stay away from
-- You've learned who your real friends are

Honey, it is hard to learn these kinds of lessons the hard way -- especially since you spent two years of your young life with this moron. But Now you know. You can chose to allow this experience to make you a better person ... Make new friends. Rebuild trust. Heal your broken heart. And most of all, forgive yourself.