Dear Dee:
So I have dated this guy for over a over year now. I started to crush on another guy and so I wanted to break up and play the field. Well I found the break was bad because I really don't want to date other guys anymore.
So my bf and I got back together outside of school. It's gotten tough and I want to make it official everywhere but he refuses even though he just wants to be with me as well.
You're lucky he took you back when you decided to change your mind. That in itself shows he cares about you. But you do need to get to the bottom of why this guy doesn't want to be your official boyfriend 'everywhere.' Is he ashamed of you? Is he embarrassed that he took you back or is he lying to you about everything?
Get to the bottom of that, and more than likely this rocky relationship will smooth out.
There could be some hidden hostility about the break up he's not telling you about or maybe he doesn't want to let everyone know you're back together until he's certain of it himself (which is kind of lame, btw). Do cut him a little slack, BUT don't be content to be the girlfriend no one knows about. That'll just lead to trouble down the road.
We're Back Together, But Not 'Everywhere'
Likes Friend's Ex, But Friend Prob Won't Mind
Dear Dee:
I like this guy a lot! I really wanna go out with him. He's funny, sweet, smart and really cute. The problem is my friend has gone out with him and I have known her almost my entire life. She didn't like him much, though. She had a crush and then didn't care for him in that way. Should I go for it?
You don't have to ask your friend for permission to date this guy, but to avoid any future problems and to show your friendship the respect it sounds like it deserves, since you've been friends forever, you might just wanna run it past her.
More than likely she won't care -- especially if she doesn't have feelings for him anymore. But in the off chance she does care, are you prepared to give this guy up or strain relations with your friend? While it doesn't sound likely, it's something you should think about.
I've often said it is an unspoken rule among friends to not date each other's ex's, but to every rule there is an exception. I am thinking this is one of those cases, if she really is over him.
Leaving & Wants to Tell Him How She Feels
Dear Dee:
This boy and I have liked each other since the 2nd grade. Now we are in the 8th grade and I wanted to tell him I like him before I leave to go to a new school. I will still see him but I don't know what to do and it hurts me. He's been talking to other girls, too and not talking to me.
He may be avoiding you and not talking to you because he is also going through some mixed feelings about your all-too-soon departure. So don't let it get you down too much.
If you've known this boy so long, you probably have a gauge as to whether or not he actually likes you in the same way. Does he act differently around you? Does he treat you just like all the other girls? What do your instincts tell you?
Now remember, you are going to another school and there will be plenty of opportunities there, to find a guy. Don't be too quick to start something up at your old school, when maintaining a relationship might be since you won't be around as much.
You're going through a major change in having to change schools so I am sure you're anxiousness and pain stems a little from that. Try really hard to relax and take things in stride. If you feel you have to talk to this boy, then determine within yourself to do it calmly and deliberately -- and be prepared for how he'll react and what he might say.
Putting yourself out there can result in great reward or in a little more pain -- but either way, at least you'll know. Good luck and I wish you all the best at your new school.
Beach Vacation Ends In Freaky Situation
Dear Dee:
Something completely weird happened. Well last summer my family and I went to North Carolina to visit some friends.
There is this guy, he is 23 and he has a girlfriend. I'm 14 and he told me he's inlove with me! I don't like him at all I mean I barely know him and I don't remember really talking to him. He also saw me in a bikini when we all went to the beach.
The point is, he is mad at me for rejecting him because I told him I don't like him. I want to make things right but I don't wanna look stupid or hurt him even more. What should I do? Should I pretend nothing happened or talk to him about it?
Ewwww. The first thing that comes to mind is this is a dangerous, disgusting situation. You should in no way shape or form talk to this guy or even respond to any type of correspondence he sends you.
No good at all can come of this situation and it is not your job at 14 years old, to spare the feelings of a 23-year-old guy who is literally preying on you. Don't take this lightly. It is scary and dangerous.
You need to tell your parents right away and you need to not answer texts, phone calls or emails from this guy.
Although you say you don't remember meeting him, how are you getting this information?? Something doesn't quite add up with what you're telling me, but the bottom line is still the same. Stay away.
And again, TELL YOUR PARENTS. This is not a situation for you to handle.
Parents Say 18, But She's Ready NOW!!
Dear Dee:
My parents say I should wait to get my first kiss when I'm 18!!! I don't know how I am going to do it without telling my parents. What should I do?
I wish you'd said how old you are. But since you haven't, I am going to speak to this generally.
Parents around the world should not read this entry -- so if you are a parent -- STOP READING RIGHT NOW (PLEASE?)?
If you are ready for your first kiss, and you're not just trying to get one to get it out of the way, I can't imagine what would stop you. I think for the most part, teens running home to their parents to tell them they've just had their first kiss only happens on the Disney Channel. Seriously. Do we really want our parents to know we're kissing? I don't think so.
So, if you want to do it and feel you're old enough (are you??) and ready then do it. That's all there is to it.
Parents often throw out these arbitrary ages like 18 or 21 just because they're not ready to admit their kid is actually growing up and is getting ready to start relationships. Now, if it's a religious point of view or a conviction of theirs, I can't help you -- only you know how this was said to you.
But if you use care, think it through and also don't act stupid about it you'll be fine and don't sweat it. ... For lack of a better way to end this post, PUCKER UP, honey.
