Right Now's Better Than Right Time

Dear Dee:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two years. I love him but I just don't want to be with him anymore.

We are both 20 and he is very immature. We lived together for about a year and he just thinks I should do housewife stuff. The problem is, I was working and going to college and then he got fired so I got another job and he still thought I should do housewife things.

I am not married nor has he put a ring on my finger. Our relationship is getting to the point of where we act like an old married couple. I even have to ask for sex! Also, my health has been very poor while living with him and now that we don't live together, I have more energy. I feel really healthy and everything. I know I need to break it off but I want to do it in person.

He will not quit bothering me through text messages or calling me or emailing me. I feel like its going to slip out before I can see him. I don't know how to handle this can you help?

You aren't doing him any favors by not telling him your true feelings now. While it's understandable you'd rather break up with him in person, stringing him along is not the way to go here. In fact, it's not fair to him at all.

I could write a book on what I see wrong with what you wrote in your first few paragraphs, but you've saved me the keystrokes by saying yourself that you want out. So just get out! You're not asking whether or not you SHOULD get out -- whether or not you SHOULD talk to him about it. You're flat out saying you know you need to break it off -- you know he's not the right guy -- and now, you just need help getting out.

So just do it. Don't wait. Call him up and tell him the relationship isn't working for you anymore. Waiting to see him in person at this point, when the thought of him texting you or calling you is repulsive, is not right and cowardly. He doesn't know you guys are on the outs ... so he doesn't think of it as 'bothering you.' He thinks he's communicating with his girlfriend! CALL HIM RIGHT NOW.

Take this opportunity to make a new start of it. Learn from your experience in this relationship and don't make the same mistakes again. Find someone who has the same ambitions as you and will support YOU -- not just let you support him.


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