Bratty Dorm Mate Acts Like Preschooler

Dear Dee:
I am sorry to disturb you when you must be very busy. My problem might not seem big to you, but I feel really burdened by it. If I tell my parents, which I can only do via Skype because I'm away from home in another country at the moment, they might tell me just to get back home. Maybe I should... But I still don't want to give up this chance.

Anyway, I live in a dorm for foreign students at the moment, and it's well, like dorms are. The only problem is my neighbour. No matter how often I ask her to please be quite at night, and no matter if the dorm rules say keep quite after 11 pm, she keeps waking me up by stomping around in her room or banging her door at night. When I put on a sign saying "asleep" on my door, she gets even louder and bangs her door several times in a row - like to wake me up on purpose.

I wonder why she hates me like that. She acts sweet around me and asks if I was able to sleep at night when someone else is around, but as soon as I'm gone, she badmouths me to my friends, so I can't go to their lounge anymore. She has taken over my place now, it seems, and every time she stomps in her room, I get reminded of that fact.

The dorm people would like to help me, but if they tell her to keep quiet, she will know immediately it comes from me and the problem is, when I still thought we could be friends (or believed in her pretending to be my friend and cooked her food and stuff), I told her that I like this guy, and if she gets mad at me, she might tell him.

I asked if I can change rooms or move to another dorm, but that seems hardly possible. I can't concentrate in class anymore because I don't get enough sleep at night. I feel really, really sad and left-alone. Any advice for me?

This girl is obviously the worst-behaved person on the face of the earth -- not to mention the most juvenile. Has she ever heard of manners? Give me a freaking break. This isn't grade school. She needs to grow up and solve her problems like an adult rather than stomping around like a spoiled toddler. Maybe the dorm chaperons should put her in the corner for a time out -- as it seems she has the emotional mentality of a 4-year-old brat. Ugh. Gotta hate people like this.

But I guess my rant doesn't help you at all, does it (I feel a little better!). Look, you're handling this right. It sounds like the program you are in is a huge opportunity -- a once-in-a-lifetime gig. So, sticking it out is the right thing to do. But obviously sleep is key to the enjoyment and success of you in this program.

I don't recall you saying you had confronted her about why she treats you in this manner. If you honestly don't know why she acts this way to you, you need to confront her on it. She's more than likely a big, bratty bully and needs to be aware you're in on her games and not going to stand for it.

Try to be polite about it, but firm. Tell her she's disturbing you and while you don't want to resort to such measures, if the two of you can't come to a compromise, you will need to report her.

Let her know you're willing to work things out -- fix whatever has made her pissy -- and be friends. If this simply doesn't work, then your only resort, I am afraid is to either suffer through her stupidity in sleeplessness, or ... tell on her. You could take it a step farther and give her a taste of her own medicine, but hey ... errrr ... I don't condone revenge ...

Obviously, the girl is affecting you, your friendships and your overall experience. Don't let her ruin it for you. Don't give her that satisfaction. Stand up to her. Be the mature one and try to work through it. All you can do is try. And if that doesn't work, I know a website where you can find some way nasty pranks to play on fellow dorm mates ... all you gotta do is google 'dorm pranks' ... seriously.