Bummer! First Relationship a Real Dud

Dear Dee:
A few weeks ago I met this boy and he was interested in me and I was interested in him too.

He's friends with a few of my friends, so we were all hanging out a lot. I was stoked because I was told he wanted to ask me out, I'm 17 and I've never been in a relationship- so I thought everything was going to be great.

Well we started hanging out alone and I realized I really didn't like him like I thought I did. I have more fun when its him and a few other people. When its just him and I, it's kind of boring and we run out of things to talk about. Since I've been around him more he's not really the person I thought he was.

I don't see him as boyfriend material because of the way he acts. The thing is, I think he might ask me out soon. I really like him as a friend, but I can't see him as anything else.

Sometimes I think I like him, but other times I don't. I want to give him a chance though because I know if it was me I would want the other person to give me a chance, but I don't want to lead him on and hurt his feelings.

This is the first time I've dealt with something like this and I don't know what I should do because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone. I've been wanting to be in a relationship so badly and I thought this would be perfect, but it doesn't seem to be working out so far.

I'm so confused and was hoping you could give me any kind of advice to hopefully help me out, I would appreciate it so much.

Well, it's pretty cut and dry, really. You don't like him as a boyfriend. So don't go out with him.

I know you said you want to give him a chance, but you've already made up your mind you don't think he's boyfriend material. You've already given him a chance by spending time with him and hanging out with him one on one. I don't think you need to take it any farther than that.

This is the problem we face when we put ourselves on the dating market -- sometimes, we have to say no. And unfortunately, you're having to say 'no' before you've gotten to say 'yes.' When you talk to him, be kind. But be direct. Let him know you've enjoyed hanging out with him as a friend, but you don't think anything beyond friendship is possible. It might him him hard, but he'll get over it and both of you will feel better because you were honest and up front. If you can't do this, then you're not ready to date. It's just that simple.

And don't let this experience get you down! There are plenty of other guys out there and you've already been through a let down -- so hopefully the next one will be easier -- and more your type.