Yep. Church Girls Get Crushes, Too ...

Dear Dee:
OK, so I like this boy who goes to my church. He is absolutely gorgeous! I have been going to this church for a couple years now and he plays lead guitar every Sunday morning for worship.

I can't seem to talk to this guy, though. The only time I get to see him is church on Sunday and Youth Group on Wednesday. I don't think he has any idea who I am and it makes me sad because I don't have the guts to talk to him.

I wouldn't even know what to say. Plus, I'm not the most attractive girl at my church compared to all the other ones. Can you please help me finally get this guy to notice me? I'd really appreciate it .

Rule No. 1: You have to believe in yourself.
Rule No. 2: You have to KNOW you're good enough for this guy.
Rule No. 3: Don't compare yourself to other girls. ...

There are other rules, but hey ... some of this you have to figure out for yourself. Nothing good ever comes of looking at the girls around you and comparing yourself. Believe me, I know this is difficult, because I still do it to this day! But you are your own person with your own unique qualities, talents, abilities and yes, your own special look.

Who care if you're not a cookie-cutter Barbie doll or a model-esque beauty? You're you. And you need to find out how to showcase who you are. If people (mainly this guitar-playing hottie) can't recognize that, then that's his problem. Because sooner or later honey, someone will.

Now, even though I love them dearly, guys are generally clueless (SORRY!). So, finding out whether or not he's into you might be up to you and some keen observations. Don't go out of your way to be overly flirty and most definitely don't throw yourself at him, but gather up all the courage you have and talk to him!

You have an automatic 'in' every single time you hear him play! Go tell him how much you love a guitar solo he plays or how he interprets a certain song you all are singing. YOU have to make the move here to find out what's going on behind that musician's cute face.

Are other girls throwing themselves at him? While it's a church setting, I don't doubt the other girls in your group find him irresistible, too. So be the stand-out girl who doesn't fall all over him. Just talk to him, show a little interest and leave it at that. Find ways the other girls aren't utilizing. Be unique. Be yourself.

Look, you can do this. You are a capable young woman who obviously wants to know what the possibilities are. And in order to do this, you've got to take matters into your own hands. Where most girls make mistakes, is they fall all over a guy, don't hold back and end up getting hurt because they wore their feelings on their sleeves. Don't do that. Stay in control and play it right.

And if it turns out he likes you, great! And if not, well -- use this as an experience for next time. Hey, you might find out that behind that rocker's exterior, he's shy and insecure himself -- OR you might find out he's a big jerk ... Either way, seems like the it's all up to you!

So go get him ... I believe in ya.