Friend's Mom Is A Ticking Time Bomb

Dear Dee:
I have a 17-year-old friend whose mom has put her through a lot of physical and emotion abuse. Her mom is on medication for depression and has also had thoughts of suicide.

I have noticed her mom believes the answer to all of her problems is threatening to cut my friend from all support and kicking her out. I want to prepare myself if and when anything happens so I am reaching out to anyone and everyone for help and answers.

Your friend is really really lucky to have someone like you looking out for her. This is a very difficult situation for a friend to have to watch another friend go through. And it is even harder to actually want to help your friend through it -- instead of just being on the outside, looking in.

Your friend is 17, so she's almost legally an adult. And if her situation doesn't get any better, I'd highly recommend your friend gets the heck out of Dodge as soon as she's able to. In order for her to develop emotionally and independently, she needs to remove herself from the hostile, threatening environment her mom has obviously created for her. And while I think it is a horrible to consider abandoning one's mom, if your friend and her family have done all they can to try to help this woman, then in order to survive personally, she might just have to do that.

Before your friend's ready to leave home, though, and if she does get kicked out and cut off, just be there for her. If you're not able to take her in (not sure of your family situation) then maybe you can help her reach out to a local churches' youth ministry for support. In fact, this would be a great place for both of you to get some help in this situation. Sometimes, when situations seem really, really helpless and a person really has no where else to go, GOD is the answer and the faith and support of other believers can get you through the situation.

There are also hotlines listed here.You can reach out to one of the domestic abuse hotlines or give the number directly to your friend. Seroiusly, this is something you two shouldn't deal with alone and when we're dealing with issues such as suicidal parents, threatening situations and the like, it's always a great idea to get professional help. Those people on the other end of the hotlines can give you all the info you need.

Hang in there. Continue to be a great friend, listen and do whatever you can to help your friend out of this situation. Also, encourage her to rise above all she's been through and become the best person she can be. Too many people have to climb mountains to make up for the fact they had HUGE JERKS for parents ... but overcoming that can most definitely be done. Especially when a person has a great friend by her side.