Embarassed When Friends Talk Sex

Dear Dee:
I am 19 years old and in my second year of university. I found the transition from High School to University very difficult, but now that I'm in my second year, I feel much more comfortable. I have made few friends, but we're becoming very close and I'm so happy about that.

What I'm writing to ask advice for is, my friends are very open sexually. They talk about their hook-ups and experiences easily and are now wondering about me. The truth is, I'm 19 and NEVER been kissed!

I almost find it embarassing - I feel like a little girl when they talk ... they say stuff and I blush and do my best not to laugh, but on the inside, I feel left out and almost weird in a world where I see people kissing on the street corners and the who-knows-what at parties, and there I am, the loser who hasn't had a simple kiss!
Any advice for me?

Do NOT be embarrassed. And there is no reason in this world you should be ashamed of yourself. In fact, this world is totally screwed up when girls talk about their sexual exploits as casually as they talk about the sale at the shoe store. YOU are the one in the right here. These other girls are wrong. And while that's hard for you to see, it is the truth.

It absolutely sickens me how our society has made sex such a casual, conversational thing. It is disgusting how it is a symbol of status among guys and girls. It is VERY VERY wrong!

Let me tell you this: While you're sitting there, listening to the girls talk about their latest one-nighter, and acting like it was a conquest. What they're not telling you is how they're really burying the fact there was no emotional attachment. They’re not talking about the fact that even though they were 'protected,' there's still a part of them that wonders if they'll get pregnant or a disease. They're not talking about how they feel cheap and disgusting because the guy they had sex with probably doesn't even remember their names.

Oh oh ... and let's not forget this extremely disgusting fact: When people sleep around casually, each sexual encounter isn't just with one person, it's with pretty much every person that person has had sex with and so on and so on ... UGH! THAT IS SO SO SO SO GROSS!

OK. So we've talked about 'what they're not saying ...' now let's talk about what they're not doing, OK?

These girls aren't allowing themselves to experience something meaningful with their future husbands. They're not saving anything to give to the one person they are committing their lives to. They aren't realizing they are SPECIAL enough and WORTH WAITING FOR.

And you know what? You are! When you experience the kiss you'll know you're ready and you're mature enough to handle it. You'll know what you want in a guy and you'll be able to choose accordingly.

See, these girls deep down, know what they're doing is inappropriate and wrong. But when they talk about it and are able to share their experiences collectively, they're validating their behavior to themselves ... thinking that it's OK because others are doing it, too.

Don't be ashamed. Don't be embarrassed. Not to be cliché, but you are a RARE jewel and the guy who finds you is so so so lucky. You are worth it. You are worth waiting for. And you're 'lack' of their type of experience is not a slight against you. And that's how you should portray it if you decide to tell them.

You're a great example. And you know what? I'm proud to know you!