Can't Believe I'm Fallin' for a Friend

Dear Dee:
This guy I know is one of my best friends. I've never had feelings for him or anything. I see him as a friend only.

I don't know what has gotten into me but the past few days I have been feeling attracted to him.

I always wait for him in the hallways and talk to him constantly and stare at him, which I never did before. He told me he likes another girl. I wanted to be nice and help him and give him advice but I am a little jealous and a little heart broken. I am so confused.

I keep telling myself this is not happening and I don’t like him. But ... I'm stuck. I actually found myself crying when I came home from school today. I can't like him right, it just seems impossible!

Don't cry sweet girl! Don't! I sure don't know what it seems impossible for you to discover you really, really like someone you already spend a lot of time with as a friend. People are always discovering the one they should really be with has been right next to them all along -- whether it be a friend or whatever. So don't freak out you're having these feelings. Just be cautious.

Don't all of a sudden think, because you're feeling a little differently about him, your relationship has to change. Take it slow. Figure out whether your feelings are the real deal, or just a fleeting fancy. You may find in a few days, you wake up and laugh you were even having romantic feelings towards him. (you wouldn't want to ruin your friendship by jumping the gun, in other words.) Or you may find he's the guy you want to be with. If this is the case, then you need to figure next steps.

It's a perfectly fantastic progression to go from being friends to dating! As friends, you've already spent time together, figured out how to get along and established some chemistry. It takes some of the edge off immediately jumping into dating. You're already familiar with the person and know some of his quirks.

If you're unsure of him feeling anything other than friendship towards you, maybe you could test the waters a little by paying attention to his reactions when you talk about dating other guys. Or ask him questions about this girls he might be interested in . If you're bold enough, you could jokingly ask him if he'd ever thought of dating you -- (say you were just curious, etc). You know the boundaries of the relationship you have with him now. I am sure you can figure out the best way to approach him or find out if he's interested, too.

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