Friends: Out With Old, In With New?

Dear Dee:
I go to a boarding high school but I don't board. I'm one of the 25 percent of the school who are 'day students' and don't live on campus. I made 3 or 4 friends fairly quickly and I was very excited about this because I am now very close with them.

My problem is I don't think these are the type of kids I want to hang out with. Now, everyone seems to be in their own groups, and I all of a sudden found myself only knowing these four kids. Everyone else seems to know everyone, whether its from their dorm or sports team or whatever.

I'm a pretty athletic kid and I met some kids on my soccer team this fall. But, I'm not a very big attention-getter. I'm short, somewhat quiet and often find myself just with my little group of 4.

I just want to be able to branch out and make some new friends who I feel more compatible with. I'm just really trying to broaden my friend base, and get to know more girls. I also need a way to get with some new friends but not ditch my old ones. HELP!

Well, I bet school is almost out for you, right? So summer time is the perfect time to branch out and kind of redefine who you are and how people look at you. And it's fine to do that.

But what's not fine, is to degrade or belittle those friends you do have. You specifically say the 3 or 4 friends you currently have are not the kind of friends you want. I hope you realize how that makes you look. It makes you look like a selfish, unreliable person who doesn't value friendship.

You want to broaden your friend base? Then first you have to appreciate those you have and understand why each friend you make is unique, individual and important as each offers you a different perspective and insight. Every friend you make, every person you become close to can add value to your life. Do you get that? Do you see why saying the friends you currently have aren't 'the kind of friends you want' is kind of tacky?

There really isn't anything wrong with you wanting to make new friends and broaden your horizons. But don't alienate those who are faithful to you in the process. Be thankful for all people around you. Appreciate all the friends brought into your life. And when people see how you treat and treasure your friends, your faithful 4 will grow ... because everyone will want to be a part of it.