Girl Needs To Step Back, Get It Together

Dear Dee:
I 'm a sophomore in high school now and my freshman year was the worst. I tried my hardest to make friends, but everyone thought I was a freak because of the way I am.

I found out I was gay and I failed every class I took. My one and only friend somehow fell in love with me and told me I was the first girl she ever thought about this way, then the next day she told me she couldn't stop thinking about me, she said she wanted to come to my house after she got back from camp and she said that she wants her first kiss to be with me.

I know I want to kiss her but this won't be my first kiss and I think I want things to go farther but I don't want to scare her away. I guess what I need to know is how to control myself -- even though I love her and I really do.

Please don't tell me to just remember I love her and to just try harder.

No, I won't tell you to try harder. You already know you need to do that. What I will tell you is to actually stop and think about what you are doing. Each decision you're making right now affects your future.

Doing poorly in school doesn't help you at all. It, in fact, hinders you in every aspect of your life. At home, it will stress your parents out and get them on your back big time. It makes others at school look at you differently -- possibly as the kid who doesn't try hard enough or doesn't take school seriously (you didn't say why you were failing ... if it's too hard, etc) -- and it'll make it all the harder for you to get back in the grind when school starts again.

While I know school sucks (believe me, I HATED IT) ... it's not something you can take lightly. It's not about trying harder, it's about being a person who knows how to give her best in all that she does. When you can give your best in school, it becomes easier to give your best in other areas of your life -- your friendships, your personal relationships and in personal decisions.

OK. So now onto dealing with your friend-turned-crush ... Do you know what it means to take advantage of someone? Well, if you take this situation farther than it should go, then you're living the meaning. Don't you dare let her come to your house and then you take advantage of her. You are both vulnerable and are making lifestyle decisions you're not yet comfortable with. Don't experiment with someone who you consider to be your best friend! Take things slow. Don't ruin your friendship because you can't control your hormones. Seriously. Be responsible and exhibit some self-control!

You've shown, with your grades, and the fact you don't think you can 'control' your feelings, that you need to take a few steps back and get your crap together. What do you stand for? You're probably better off not getting involved with anyone until you can figure things out and get it together.

Sorry, that's just the way I see it ... sometimes, it ain't pretty.