Dear Dee:
I've never been in love. I've had just a few crushes, but never been in a relationship. I've never had any prospects interested in going out with me, though I know that I am quite attractive and almost all the guys I know have flirted with me or have stared at me in class.
But no guy has ever asked me out. I am a college student and the main reason I've never went out with guys around me is I find them childish most of the time. Most of the guys I know do not converse well in English either and so it is a huge drawback for me.
I wish I could meet men who were more like me and often wonder why I have been single for so long. Most of my other friends are in committed relationships and are definitely not virgins. I feel convinced I'm never going to meet anyone who would go out with me. Will I ever be in a relationship?
I have no idea if you'll find love -- although I am thinking you probably will. It really is true -- love finds you when you least expect it and when you're not looking for it. It's just how this stuff works!
But I do have a few things I'd like to suggest to you, so you appear a little more approachable to guys. From reading your question above, I can tell you WANT attention from guys, but I am thinking maybe you're coming off to them as being a little standoff-ish. So, here it goes ...
You list the items you don't want in a guy (must speak English, can't be childish) but hey, what DO you want? And, are you judging guys too harshly? Being childish every now and then is fun. (Of course, there are those guys who are childish all the time ... I get that.) So don't discount every single guy you meet or see just because you think he's acting childish. Give the joker a chance. You may find his silliness offsets your seriousness. Or, you may find his humor gives you perspective you hadn't had before.
Try to start conversations. You say you notice guys staring at you -- do you smile back? do you say 'hi'? These simple gestures are basic, but can open a door wide enough to see what might be on the other side. Give it a shot ... Let guys know you're fun, flirty, worth talking to and totally approachable.
Now, finding someone to start a relationship with is not a run against the clock. So don't worry about what the status is of your friends. It's not a competition and it's most definitely not something to take lightly. You're picky. And that's OK. And the fact you're still a virgin is nothing at all to be ashamed of -- in fact, KUDOS to you! I am in awe of you and admire you because of it. When the time is right AND the person is right, you'll know it. And you'll be SO GLAD you waited.
Never Been In Love & Close to Losing Hope
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5 comments:
How, and I ask again, how can a woman not find a man??? I fail to understand this. Perhaps I am missing something but as a man that No woman wants, I know how hard it is to find anyone. I see day after day women with men. And women brag about how they dont want a man or need a man. For me, to have so many options that one can choose to not have someone, thats pretty heavy. I rarely meet any men who talk like that, unless they are rich and can have anyone they want.
I am a man who has never fathered any children, never used drugs, never drink, never been n trouble, I have worked hard and done some good things in my life. Yet, no woman wants me. It seems as if I incite hatred in them. They never give me a chance, they know nothing about me. yet they judge me all of the time. Be happy that Men are not this way with you. You have hope, I dont. You were born female, that puts the world in your hands. You can have a man tonight if you wanted to. Its easy for you.
Dont go around talking about how you cant meet anyone until you've walked in mens shoes for a day. they you will know something about being hated and alone. Most men have No one.
Same here ,I feel the same way .I'v never being in love before and I'm 20 years old .I want to feel it .People say it suck's when you fall in love but it sucks even more when you don't .I know that it will come in time but I'm starting to lose all hope becuse of this.I'm becoming desperate because of this ..
Dis Anonymous find a girl yet? Im sure there is some reason why no girl likes you. There has to be.
I'm having the same problem. I'm a twenty year old girl, in college, a virgin, and I've never been in love. I've dated (for short periods of time) men thinking maybe I could learn to love them, but believe me when I say you can't force yourself to love someone. There was a man that was perfect (he was kind, compassionate, and attractive) but there was just nothing there. I tried to date guys last semester, but it was like I had to force my self to hang out with them because it was so awkward. I feel like if you're in love with someone it shouldn't be a chore to be around them, talk to them, go out with them. It's just starting to worry me because I think that maybe I can't fall in love.
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