Choice: The Drugs or Her ... He Chose Drugs

Dear Dee:
My boyfriend and I were good friends since sixth grade (now we are finishing up ninth.) We starting dating in January and were going out for almost three months and I found out he smoked pot.

I talked to him about it and he was extremly apologetic and regretful. He promised he'd never do it again and I said OK. A month later, he told me he had been smoking all month and at that time, I told him it was over.

Now he comes to school high. I really can't deal with it anymore. I feel like crying every time I see him. How do I get over this? We use to be so close?


It is so hard to watch someone you care about go down the wrong road. You did the right thing by confronting him on it, and ultimately ending your relationship because he wasn't willing to give up the drugs.

What's important now, is you don't allow your emotions to let you get sucked back into a relationship. You obviously care about him and it could be easy for you to talk yourself into putting up with the dope (him and the drugs) just to be able to be with him ... BUT DON'T. If you feel the need to help him, enlist some adults you trust to do that. You're not equipped to help him with a drug addiction. And all we can do is pray for that person, hope they get the help they need and know we did all we could.

If he commits to coming clean, you could cautiously take on a support role for him. But be very careful. Your emotions are so fragile right now -- you need to heal. And I feel a clean break for you, is really the only way you're going to get through this -- especially if he continues to self-destruct.

For more advice, and possible ideas to get your friend help, use the hotlines I have listed here.