Friend's Death Leaves Girl Scared & Unsure

Dear Dee:
First off, let me tell you how much I love your site! A friend of mine recently died in a car crash and his mother is still in critical condition and may not make it. I feel horrible and don't know how to react. He was a great person and was friendly with everyone. I just can't believe he's gone. I don't know how to handle it. And there is also the fact that I am now afraid to drive. Some advice would be great.

OK. I just want to say .... that you DON'T have to give me a compliment in order for me to respond to your questions .... you just don't ... but I must admit to LOVING IT. Thank you. Makes me feel good ...(and we all need that.)

I am so sorry about your friend and am sorry his momma. I sure can't explain why horrible things like this happen -- why mothers outlive their sons -- and why young friends have to be torn apart before the living really starts.

But I do know it doesn't do any good at all to dwell on it. You have to mourn, that's for sure. But you have to realize that life is precious, and not being able to 'deal' with it prohibits you from doing what you need to to be a useful, purposeful and amazing person.

For you to deal with the loss of your friend, you have to mourn and say goodbye. I don't know what he meant to you or what your memories of him are, but take the time to do something special to remember him by. If you always hung out at the ice cream shop at the mall, then go there, sit and journal a little and think of him and say your goodbye.

Saying goodbye doesn't mean you'll forget him. It just means you're allowing yourself to realize and accept he's gone. It's a process. And you've got to work through it.

Life is made up of experiences and how we handle those experiences -- whether good or bad -- defines the person we become. Right now, you're experiencing sadness and also fear -- and don't let that fear conquer you. Don't be afraid to live. Don't be afraid to drive and most of all, don't be afraid to enjoy your life. You're friend would want you to do now, what he can't.