Former Friends Can't Seem to Disconnect

Dear Dee:
I have this friend or had this friend -- we get into huge fights and I'm so sick of her. She's always trashing on everything and everybody. A lot of my friends are tired of it, too. We've done everything we could to stop her. But she won't lay off. I don't know what to do. I'm sick of it. And I want it to be done but I don't know how to get rid of her!

You wrote above you 'had' this friend ... so it seems you've already gotten rid of her as a friend. Now, maybe you need to just distance yourself a little more so what she says or does doesn't bother you anymore. This will just take some time. This person has been your friend! So while it's obvious you don't think you two can be friends, there are still some raw feelings there. So totally getting over it will be take awhile.

What you can do, is try not to perpetuate it by talking about her and letting her get to you. Some people gossip, trash talk and act inappropriately just to see what type of rise they'll get out of others. If you and your friends have 'kicked' her out of your group of friends (and I hope you weren't mean), then she could easily be doing it to get back at you.

Remember, the golden rule (my paraphrase) -- treat others as you want to be treated. A friendship gone wrong is no reason to be mean and no reason to gossip -- but it is a chance to reevaluate how you treat your friends and further define what type of people you want in your life.