My Ex Still Has a Hold on Me

Dear Dee:
I'm in love with an ex. How should I move on?


Getting over an ex is one of the hardest things to do, especially if the relationship didn't end on your terms. But the best advice I can give you is for you to mourn the end of your relationship and move on. Sometimes, it's as simple as keeping yourself busy. Occupy yourself so you don't have time to sulk. Invest your time in helping others or doing things that you love.

A lot of times after a breakup, we ponder the things that we loved about our old relationship and forget about all the reasons it didn't work out. Instead of rehashing everything, look back on your relationship and learn from it. What did you do then that you could do better now? How did you grow during the relationship?

Now of course, there's the chance that if you went to your ex and told him/her how you felt you could win him/her back. BUT is that's what's best? Sometimes, we take back an ex because we think we love them but in actuality we're really just lonely. Don't fall into that trap.

Remember, there are others out there. And while you're in pain now, it will subside. Learn from your experience and move on. It's not easy, but it's most definitely doable.