Dear Dee:
Hi, I came across your website while looking for links. I found out today one of my close friends is pregnant. My first reaction was WHAT? And now, panic. I don't know what to do ... or how to act ... I guess what I want to know is, in your experience, how would you want your friends to treat you? Because I don't want this to come between me and my friend.
Well, there is no way your friend being pregnant CAN'T come between you and your friend. But whether or not you let it build a wall or a hurdle is up to you and her.
What you can do for your friend is just be there for her. Support her. Support her when you're with her and then again when you hear others talking behind her back about her situation. Be there for her. And if she wants to talk to you about it, then let her.
It's no easy thing being the friend of a pregnant teen. You'll find her situation puts demands on your friendship. And if she decides to keep the baby, you'll face even more obstacles, as she'll need to adjust socially to taking care of her baby. BUT, if you're up for it, you can adjust and support once again and prove you're the type of friend who will stick it out.
A lot of girls in this situation find out all too suddenly who their true friends are. Most friends drop like flies once the 'big secret' is out, but the ones who stay around form bonds for life. And that's priceless. So I am so proud of you for wanting to do what's right by your friend and help her out, instead of just waiting around to see what happens. By writing me, you've proven you want to take action and do what you need to to sustain your friendship.
Let your friend know there are tons of resources out there for her (there are some hotlines listed here as well), that'll not only give her great advice, but can point her in the right direction if she needs help. I'm also here, if she needs someone to talk or write to. Feel free to share my story with her, if you'd like. It can be found here: Dear Dee's Teen Pregnancy Story.
Stay strong! Please let me know what happens. I am definitely interested and love getting updates.
How Do I Treat My Pregnant Friend?
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okay, so my friend who shall of course remain nameless just found out she was pregnant by having un procted sex (which in my opinion is just not the smartest thing to do considering it was with a WAY older guy.) But when she told me what had happened, of course i was shocked and i was there for her to talk it out. she started telling some other people that i didnt even knew she talked to and it didnt seem to me like a real private matter to her. i had people that i bairley knew come up to me and ask the latest status report of my pregnant freind. i wouldnt let out any of the recent information that she told me. but lately shes been realy shadey and sketchy. not telling me anything any more and i think that theres something way bigger going on (lik maybe the baby isnt with the guy she originally told me it was with.) since she wasnt telling me anything and i was really curiouse and concerned for her, i asked two people whom i knew knew about the situation and i asked them if they had talked to her at all or if they knew anything. they said no because she wasnt really talking to them either. so we all started talking in a group about it and i told them what i THOUGHT was going on - because again i wasnt really sure about anything. well the next day my pregnant friend came up to me and said that she knew i was "talking about her behind her back" and that i was telling people stuff like i knew it was 100 percent true and juyst going off on me! she didnt believe me when i told her i was just saying what i thought! she hasnt talked to me since and that was a few weeks ago. i love her to death, shes one of my best friends and i wanna be there for her and help im so worried and concerned, shes been in my prayers ever since. but i just think she was sort of out of line accusing me with out asking me. i dont know, was i wrong for voicing my opinion, just saying what i thought?? ps i never said anything like "this is fer sher whats happening" or "she told me this this and this" no simply "i think" please leave comments
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