Red Flags: Girl More Trouble Than Worth

Dear Dee:
I have this one friend who I like a lot. She's beautiful and very nice. I've liked her since the beginning of school when she went out with my one friend. She was forced to dump him by her parents a while ago because he wasn't treating her well. Now I'm afraid she isn't allowed to have a boyfriend at all. She's friends with a lot of guys, so I don't know if I really stand out in the pack. Most of these guys like her, too. The problem also is she is always really nice to people, so it's hard to tell if she's being friendly for real or not.

I've established we are friends, but I don't know about anything else. I talk to her almost everyday and once she randomly took some ribbon and made it into some sort of bookmark for me. These signs seem really good, but whenever I text her she sometimes only gives one word responses, or doesn't return some texts.

Lately she's been keeping the conversation going but it isn't 100 percent. The other day I was at this assembly with her when this other kid sits next to her. So as I'm on one side of her and he's on the other I notice he was touching her leg and holding her hand! She said the kid (who I know already has a girlfriend) likes her and was trying to go out with her even though he had a girlfriend. She also said she didn't want to come between the boy and his girlfriend and she only liked him as a friend. I was planning on asking her out soon but now I don't know. Please help me out Dee.

You've listed a lot of 'problems' here. Some are valid, but others really are only you being hyper-sensitive, I think. So let's tackle them, K?

First, the parent issue: You're saying they made her dump this guy because he was basically a jerk to her? Wow. While I applaud them for their attentiveness, I hate the fact the girl didn't have the common sense to break it off herself. But that aside, don't be 'afraid' she isn't able to date. You just need to prove to her and her parents you know how to treat a girl right. Start off by doing this in your friendship. If you're acting right and treating her right, then you've got it made!

Don't read too much into responses over text messaging. Remember, it's a form of communication that's supposed to be quick and easy. While one-word responses can sometimes hold meaning in tone or interest, most of the time they're just that -- one word responses.

Now, the other items you've listed do raise a few red flags with me. I don't like that this girl is openly hand-holding and letting a guy, who already has a girlfriend, touch her. These aren't great qualities here. Are you sure you're willing to give your heart to a girl who can't: A.) stay away from a guy who's dating someone else and B.) fess up to it when she's been seen holding hands with another guy?

Seriously. I don't like it. I think you're defense mechanism is telling you to be unsure about asking her out, I really do. So think about it some more and trust your gut. You may decide you're willing to risk it and these things I've pointed out aren't relevant to a relationship with you. But then again, you could decide, despite your feelings for her, she's not worth it.

Sorry for the angst you're feeling. But, it doesn't really get easier. It's good you're asking these questions. This won't be the last time you like someone who may prove to be no good for you ... sorry.