Time to Tell the 'Rents about the BF

Dear Dee:
I just started dating this really great guy. He wants me to go on a boat with him and to the movies and stuff but my mom doesn't know I'm dating him. She doesn't know I've had boyfriends in the past either.

I keep telling him I can't go, but it seems like it's hurting him. What can I do to stop hurting him and can hang out with him? I'd have to lie or tell my parents about him, right?

You need to tell your parents.

Listen, if you think you're old enough to have a boyfriend, then you should be old enough to be honest to your parents and be responsible for your actions. And you are hurting your boyfriend here! Part of going out with someone is spending time together -- and you're not doing that. So of course he's suspicious and knows something is up.

Think of how you'd feel if you had a boyfriend, who, every time you asked him to go somewhere, you told him you didn't want to or couldn't -- and didn't give him a reason. You'd think he didn't like you!

So, it's time to fess up to your parents. Approach them with respect and with a level head and voice. Tell them about your boyfriend and you'd like permission to hang out with him in supervised settings (because I am imagining you're probably too young to go out on your own but not sure ...). Also, ask your parents if you can invite him over so they can get to know him and are comfortable with him (if you bring this idea to them, it sounds like you're being responsible and proactive ...it's a good thing.)

Now, if your parents don't respond favorably to you when you reveal this to them, do not throw a fit. Be as composed as you can and ask them to give you a chance to prove you're responsible enough. And ask if you can start out by simply hanging out at your house or his (and if they need to talk to his parents, let them!) I know this might suck, but it's a good first step and it's better than the alternative of lying -- all that'll happen if you lie, is when you get caught, you'll get grounded ... probably forever.