Dear Dee:
I'm 13 and I have a boyfriend who I really love and he loves me, too.
I keep hearing about girls my age getting pressured to have sex. Well, I hate when I sometimes get these feelings that I do want to have sex but then I think about it (do I really want to mess this up now at 13) I'm in 8th grade and we had some classes on abstinence and I am going to stay with my decision not to have sex until marriage but I still get the feeling I want to have sex. What should I do?
The choice to abstain from sex until marriage is absolutely the right choice.
It is what the Bible preaches/teaches and I truly believe a person who marries still a virgin will be blessed during their marriage for obeying and overcoming the temptations. Because we all know, sex is EVERYWHERE!
Just as with everything in life worth waiting for, we are tempted to do things before it's the right time OR before we're ready. Just because you're 13 doesn't mean you're not tempted to have sex. It doesn't mean you won't be pressured to have sex. And just because you've chosen to abstain, doesn't mean you won't want to have sex.
All of this just means you have to overcome those temptations. This is difficult! But it is doable. What you have to realize is what a wonderful, priceless promise you are making to your future husband. You are ensuring you will not suffer through the emotional turmoil of dealing with wondering if you have an STD or if you are pregnancy. You won't have to deal with people whispering about you or thinking your a slut. You also won't have to worry about what the guy will think of you afterwards or the emotional roller coaster a girl rides on after experiencing a break up in a relationship that involved sex.
You have made a decision that will be tested, mocked and maybe will even jeopardize a few of your dating relationships. BUT it will be worth it because you are letting yourself grow up properly and you are doing things right.
Please stay true to your decision. And when you feel the pressure within yourself or by your boyfriend to go further than you're willing to go, take a step back and remember why you're doing this: Because it's right. Because you don't want to grow up too fast and because you want to share it with the love of your life.
It may be old fashioned, but it's still the best decision ever. I am so proud of you.
13-Year-Old Chooses to Abstain! YAY
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2 comments:
or you could die in a car accident at age 19.
The choice is yours.
OK, so heres my dilemmas
1- i don't think this is right to use the bible as a etching tool. its a book that was written by who knows who thousands of years ago. It's outdated.
2- I understand your point of view. 13 year olds. 8th grade. thats too young to be considering sex. I agree that you should find someone that truly makes you happy before you do. BUT that does not mean you HAVE to be married. abstinence is a CHOICE. if you want to go with your religious beliefs and wait, by all means go ahead. but if you think a person is truly worth having something special with, then by all means go for it.
3- please use a condom. safety is really important and while some people think they are unnecessary, even for oral sex, i personally know SEVERAL people who have STDs STIs and other such from oral sex relations. It is a tragedy so i do beg of you to be safe.
Abstinence, Sex, Safety, and recklessness.
all these things are staring you in the face at some point in your life. make the right decisions and make sure that YOU want to before you do.
Stay Safe!
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