Afraid Shyness Will Get In the Way

Dear Dee:
At school I am really quiet. I don't know why it's just who I am. I have a lot of cool friends and all but I just hate being so quiet!

I was wondering if you could give me some tips to break out of my shell and start talking more. Also, I like this boy a lot and I think he will ask me out but I'm scared to say yes.

I have never had a boyfriend before. I'm 14. I'm just very scared because I know I will be shy doing things with him and I don't know what I should do. I feel if I'm quiet around him he will stop liking me but I really want to be with him.

Don't worry about being too shy if this guy asks you out. ... He likes you for you. And part of being you is your shyness.

There is a mystery and innocence about shyness and as long as you don't let being shy overtake you and freak you out, it's not a problem.

Sounds like what you need to do is decide you won't let being shy become the trait that defines who you are. Your shyness is a part of your personality, but it shouldn't keep you from exploring life, enjoying it and making as many friends as you want to.

Whenever you feel your being shy overtaking you or making you scared to 'get out there,' just take a quick step back, breath and gather up your confidence. And when you feel like you can't find that confidence, just dig a little deeper. It's there. You just have to believe in it. Seriously! It's true!

Don't worry about this guy. If you like him, and he likes you just go with it and have fun. Don't get caught up worrying about being shy. Worrying about it is the easiest way for you to actually have problems. Just let it happen and be confident.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am so glad that you made this post because I have almost the same problem. But, I can also relate to you a lot on that I am 14, I never had a boyfriend before, I like a boy A LOT, I have a lot of cool friends, and at school I can be really quiet and I HATE IT! I am the who sent Dee with "My second problem is that I can be very shy at times because I don't know what can talk about or how I can continue a conversation. This has happened to me a lot with my major crush. How can I talk to him and everybody else without being shy?" Well, I may still need help with this problem but I am doing a lot better with my shyness with things that may help you. First, you can start expressing yourself more by giving opinions, saying what you like, doing what you like, or depending more on what you feel. Second, you can "challenge" yourself. In other words, things you know you would get shy about, go for it. You start with things that seem you might/should not be shy about. Practice on getting away from your shyness. Lastly, have more fun with things around you. Make the best of things instead of "worrying about being shy", like Dee said. Just remember, no one is born social. People like us need pracice on it. We can't practice in our own worlds worrying about it, we need to practice, have fun, express ourselves where people are.

Anonymous said...

I am the one who asked this and thank you so much dee you have really helped me and jo do you have aim or email or something because I think it would be so great to talk to someone going through the same thing as me.
my aim is : omgitsMelissa107
and if anyone wants to talk and has the same problems IM me

Anonymous said...

talk about things in your environment...people, objects, animals, clouds, whatever.

asking questions is good too.

shy girls are cuter and less annoying anyway :P