I'm Not Popular & It's Killing Me

Dear Dee:
I'm a 14-year-old boy, a freshman in high school and I'm not popular, and it's killing me. I can't impress any of the popular girls, I can't even look at the girl I like without getting a sign of her not noticing me.

I can't say anything around the popular guys without getting made fun of, and I can't be accepted by the cool crowd. Please advise.

Your biggest problem isn't the fact you can't get noticed by the populars or this girl you like -- it's that you are trying so hard to get noticed and accepted by this group.

I know you've heard the expression, 'you're trying too hard' ... and dude, you totally are. Lighten up a bit and stop caring about acceptance so much.

You have to be happy with yourself and who you are before you can expect anyone else to accept you and acknowledge you. And the fact this group isn't letting you 'in' shouldn't define who you are and it most definitely shouldn't have a bearing on your happiness. Because if you let it, you will most definitely never be happy. And that's just sad.

Stand up straight, be yourself and better yet, LIKE YOURSELF. Like yourself for who you are, the friends you have and the person you will become. Be proud of it. And don't let a group of popular kids, who you probably won't even recognize at your 10-year high school reunion, run your life. Take control and do it now before you ruin your high school years.

I don't know if you changing your outlook the way I've described will make your dream girl fall for you. And I don't know if it will cause the populars to let you in or get the guys to stop laughing at you. But I can guarantee it will change your life and outlook. And to me, that's what matters.