Family Into Sports, But I'm Not

Dear Dee:
I am not so into sports. I like playing, but am really not that good.

My family, it seems, is trying to convince me I am, like, the problem child. I want to be a lot like my brother and sister because I look up to them SO much, but here my brother is, saying "Oh- I played basketball, soccer, football, hockey ... etc ... and here she is, not playing anything."

What they also don't get is that I WANT to walk to school if it's nice out, I WANT to play sports, but I can't go out for a league because all of the other girls would have been playing for a long time. Also, I'm REALLY busy. Asking me to add a sport to my busy schedule is a lot to ask of me.

But I am literally about to cry. When my brother is upset or disappointed in me, I feel like poo. Honestly. I don't want to keep feeling like this.

If you flat out don't want to play an organized sport, then don't. And no one should be disappointed in you for that -- regardless of what your brother and sister have done or do.

You are your own person -- and you have your own individual skills. While I omitted your schedule from this post, it is totally 'whoa'! You are quite, quite busy and if adding a sport to that would send you over the edge, then don't do it! Be proud of what you are good at and what you are accomplishing through your other commitments.

And really, where your brother is concerned -- tell him that you admire, respect and adore all he does but that you are NOT him. You want to make a mark in stuff that you're good at -- not follow in his shadow on the basketball court. Tell him it's his job as an older brother to encourage you and to support you in the activities you want to pursue -- just as you support him in his.

And hey, if you can't tell him this, just print this out and let me do it! (HI BIG BRO!!!)

Anyway, you most definitely have a lot going on and that is great. But remember, enjoying your activities, commitments and extra curriculars is part of the fun -- so don't schedule so much of your time up that you literally don't have time to enjoy any of the things you're doing. You don't want to burn out and you don't want this time in your life to be a blur because you couldn't savor your hobbies and interests.