Boyfriend Drives Wedge Between Sisters

Dear Dee:
My older sister and I used to have a good relationship until she met her boyfriend almost two years ago. She's completely changed! She moved out with him in the middle of nowhere and never talks to me!

We get in fights whenever we talk and I tried to tell her how I got depressed while she lived with our family and how I want to not fight and get along and stuff like that but it ends in a fight. I talked to the school counselor about it and she told me she thinks my sister will come around eventually, but it has been TWO years! I don't know what to do. Please help!

Your sister's made a lot of changes in her life and it doesn't sound like those changes have been for the better.

Sometimes, when we do things that aren't exactly 'right' for us or create tension in the family, it makes our attitudes change towards the ones we love. This is what I think has happened with your sis. She has allowed this guy to change what's important to her.

I don't know the situation surrounding her moving out and in with him, but if that caused any conflict in your family, your sister is probably still acting out on that. She is wrong to treat you this way -- and right now, she's more concerned about herself than anything else.

She will come around. And you'll find she will apologize for being such a jerk. She'll feel really bad about being mean to you and upsetting you. And more than likely you'll find you're closer then you've ever been.

Do your best to try to talk to her casually whenever you can. Don't bring up the depression or anything that could make her feel guilty about moving out. Just talk to her -- start with that. Then later, as things get better, you two can start diving into the other stuff again. But just give it time. And most of all, don't give up on her. She's your sister ... you don't get that luxury!