Two Guys, One Girl & The Wrong Path

Dear Dee:
I'm 18 years old and I thought I had started to understand what I wanted from a guy.

I started dating one guy, who is very shy, not use to dating but he is absolutely amazing and I love him. He is everything I look for in a guy except for the fact I wish he had more experience with girls (I don't mean strictly sexual).

It would make him set off more confidence and it's just attractive to me. Then, there is another guy who I have known for a while but the other night we got a chance to hang out and now I'm kind of crushing on him. I know with the second guy I'm totally lusting, but I can tell there is a bit more to it and I'm scared and confused.

I always have this fear in the back of my mind: What if I leave my boyfriend for the other guy and it just is lust? Or we date and find we're wrong for each other soon after we start dating? OR what if I don't leave my boyfriend and the second guy was better for me?

I think I have the answer hidden inside me somewhere. I just cannot find it. I have no one else to ask but you.

Girl, you have tons more problems than figuring out if you should jump from one guy to the next ... and it's the fact you want to jump from one guy to the next!

Come on! You're 18 and you're telling me you wish your boyfriend had more experience with girls -- and not just sexually? This is a sad statement of where you are in your life. And it's time to wise up.

You are 18. You shouldn't know what an experienced guy does sexually or otherwise. And, you shouldn't limit yourself to thinking you already have it all figured out regarding what you want in a guy.

Listen, I say all this to get you to think about where you are in your life. And to get you to realize how important your choices are right now. Don't mess around with sex -- you don't seem to even know what it means or what it is meant to mean.

And secondly, you can't say you love your boyfriend, but in the same breath talk about lusting after one of his friends. This isn't right. I think your biggest fear in choosing between these two guys is seriously, just being alone. And frankly, that's exactly what I think you need. You need time to get it together and to focus on what an 18-year-old is supposed to be thinking about -- college, career and future.

I won't dive into your moral dilemma of 'what ifs' I really think they're irrelevant in what is really going on right now ... please, think about it. I want the best for you and right now, you aren't close to achieving that in your relationships.