Dear Dee:
I know this is more than likely how every girl's message starts out ... I had unprotected sex. I'm 16 and my boyfriend just turned 19. We've been together for a year in December and I think I'm pregnant.
I'm a smaller person. I'm about 5'1 or 5'2'. I weigh about 110lbs and I'm a cheerleader. I don't know what to do.
Well, thankfully, most of the questions I get from girls DO NOT start the way yours did. But regardless, I am here to help -- especially in desperate situations.
The first thing you have to do is find out for sure if you are pregnant. Buy an over-the-counter pregnancy test, go to the doctor or go to a free clinic that offers tests. You've got to find out for sure before you can figure out what's next.
If you're not pregnant, thank your lucky stars you dodged a life-changing bullet and straighten up your act.Step 1: Dump the adult boyfriend who's not smart enough to wear a condom (you do know it's actually illegal for you two to be dating and/or having sex?) Realize that you're not old enough to be dealing with the adult situations/emotions/responsibilities that having sex brings to the table. And get your priorities straight. Finish school. Enjoy cheerleading and don't get involved in situations you're not ready for or equipped to handle yet. Be smart!
If you are pregnant, it's time to sit down and have a talk with your parents and your boyfriend. It's also time for you to realize your decisions now involve more than one person and affect more than one person.
Many girls in your situation make different decisions. Deciding what's right for you is up to you. This decision can only be made with trusted council and consideration. Don't do anything hastily or without thinking it through. I do not support abortion -- so I will not discuss that option, but of course adoption or raising the child yourself are viable, but extremely difficult options; each accompanied with their own rewards and sacrifices.
I encourage you to contact the family crisis hotlines I have listed here on Dear Dee. Surround yourself with a support group of people who can help advise you and who truly have your best interests at heart. Find such people through your local church, your own family and within your circle of friends.
I really wish you the best of luck and want to know what happens when you take the test. I am here to support you -- as most of my readers know, I was a 16-year-old mom. And I know how important it is to have a strong support system in place.
Read my Teen Pregnancy Story here. And just maybe, you can draw some encouragement through it.
Even Cheerleaders Get Pregnant
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4 comments:
That comment was entirely rude. You don't know anything about the girl, so don't judge her. (I could point out your hypocrisy in calling her stupid when you can't even spell the word pregnant, EVEN THOUGH IT'S WRITTEN IN THE TITLE OF THE POST, or your various other misspellings, if you'd like.)
But, moving on, I'm not down with the "I don't support abortion, so I refuse to acknowledge it" deal. Because abortion is a right, and absolutely needs to remain an option (Particularly in cases involving rape, or girls who are having sex with guys too old for them despite laws on statutory rape.) this girl should discuss abortion with her family and boyfriend if she feels she needs to. If she decides that it's not for her, great, if she decides it's something that she feels needs to be done, then that's okay too, as long as she learns from her experiences and doesn't have unsafe sex anymore.
(Just a note; I'm not a supporter of the idea of abortion, and it's certainly not something I'd ever consider for myself if I were in that situation, but realistically, the world is harsh, and any option available needs to be considered.)
You're right the first comment was inappropriate and rude. We need to use the comment fields to vent different opinions -- not to bring people down or make them feel bad. I removed the comment. ... Dee
FYI-In most states, it's not illigal. In fact, usually the age of consent is 16. In Iowa, where I'm from, they are pretty lax. Someone can consent at 14 as long as thier partner is not over 5 years older than they are. At 16, you can have sex as long your partner is not over 6 years older than you.
I am 16 years old as well and my boyfriend is also 18... we have been dating 2 years and 6 months now... we started having sex 4 months ago and 3 weeks ago we had unprotected sex... I took a pregnancy test 4 days and it was positive... what should I do next???
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