Boyfriend Keeps Pulling Me Back In

Dear Dee:
I’ve been going out with this guy for about a year. He’s great and all, but I think my feelings have changed.

We’ve broken up a lot, but we always get back together and I’m tired of it. I really do not like him. He keeps on pulling me back in. I’m a really nice person and don’t want to hurt his feelings … again. How do I break up with him in the nicest way possible?

I’m not good with talking things out because I get really nervous and start stuttering. I just want to end it for good and have him get over me. Every time we broke up he would get all depressed, tell me loved me and I was his world, and I’m the best thing that happened to him. The most recent time he said he was going to commit suicide. I don’t think I can tell anyone because his mom doesn’t even approve of us going out, so she doesn’t know what is going on at all. Please help. How should I handle this?

This type of guilt relationship isn't healthy for either of you. He's becoming more and more dependent on you and you're simply resenting him more and more. So get out!

There is no nice way to break up with a guy like this -- his feelings will get hurt. And frankly, sometimes it takes a severe emotional blow to make your point sink in. I mean, don't tell him you hate him or anything -- because that's just well, hateful -- but let him know you're through. You will NOT get back together and you will NOT listen to his pleas to try to guilt you back into it. You've got to just cut him off.

Once you break up, if he walks up to you, walk the other way. If he calls, don't answer. If he texts you, don't respond. Block him from your email and your IM ... totally cut the cord here.

And if you're worried about his stability, not only should you tell an adult you trust for his sake, but also for yours. These types of boyfriends are the ones who become stalkers and get themselves into all sorts of trouble emotionally. So don't take any chances. If you think he might harm himself, tell someone. YOU CAN'T BE HIS SHOULDER TO CRY ON. And if you're afraid he will hurt you or he becomes obsessive and creepy, let someone know immediately.

Don't want to freak you out or anything, but you just never know. Hey, if you want to get some more information, talk to someone at one of our handy-dandy self-help hotlines.