Pregnant 15-Year-Old Seeks Encouragement

Dear Dee:
I came across your page while surfing the internet for any advice on my current situation.

I'm 15 and expecting my son April 14th. I've always been the girl who found some way to screw up. I was never a role model and now I have to be. It was hard to stop the drug use, alcohol and even smoking, but I thought to myself each time I wanted any of that that it was all worth it!

I'm having this baby, this bundle of joy to call my own. It wasn't planned, I had no intention on giving birth to a child while being a sophomore. Things are going well though, my mom and I have reconciled after our dying relationship was on the verge of nonexistence. We've grown and gotten closer. She's the only one I have through this whole thing.

But I don't know how to be a good mom if everyone in the world looks down on me for being so young.

Girls like you are the reason I do this, honey. And while I can't tell you everything is going to be easy and I can't give you all the answers, but I will encourage you and lift you up in my thoughts and in my prayers every single day ... that, I promise.

You are so young to have to live with the consequences of bad decisions and irresponsibility, but know that everything happens for a purpose and it is now your responsibility to seek out that purpose and be the best mother you can be. You don't know how? Don't worry. This is where you surround yourself with people who can help. Find them at your local church, your hospital's parenting support group and even right here on 'Dear Dee.'

Every single time you think of drinking, taking drugs or doing anything that is reflective of your former life, remember that every single thing you do affects another person and YOU are the only person who can bring this child into this world healthy and happy.

With your mother's help, work towards bettering yourself. Don't think just because you're a 15-year-old mom, you can't finish school and make something out of yourself. This is 100 percent not true. It will most definitely be more difficult for you than it is the average girl, but it is still extremely possible. You can rise above the statistics and the whispers of people who don't know any better -- and you can make it through this with your head held high. Work hard. Cry when you need to and do not be ashamed of who you are and what you are striving to become.

I feel, by reading your email, you get the huge responsibility you now have. But I also feel it would be easy for you to fall into your former life. I'd encourage you to build a support group of people you trust who can help you. Find these people outside your normal circle of friends and ask them to help you walk the straight and narrow. Ask them to council you, encourage you and to tell you the truth when you might be heading down the wrong path. Find these people at a church or maybe at a parenting group your local hospital might have. DON'T lose heart no matter what happens. (I know I said this earlier, but it is so important I wanted to repeat it!)

Know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that YOU are beautifully and wonderfully made and that everything -- EVERYTHING -- happens for a purpose. And you and your child have a calling and a place on this earth. Remember how special you are and how special your unborn child is. No matter what mistakes you've made, nothing changes that. And with this baby, from here on out, totally renounce the 'girl who always finds a way to screw up' and commit to make good, strong, solid responsible decisions. YOU CAN DO IT. I have faith in you.

PLEASE keep me informed. And if you can, even send me a picture of your sweet boy. I will, I promise, keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

As a side note, did you read my Teen Pregnancy Story? I hope it can encourage you.

I send you tons of hugs.