Friend Asks Friends to Clean Up Talk

Dear Dee:
I don't like some of my close friends anymore - I know that sounds mean, but hear me out. There are 3 friends I'm talking about.

Friend one swears a lot, and I don't swear (I honestly don't!), she also made sexual comments I found childish and quite sickening. Not only did this bother me, but my mother found it rude, too. I talked to her about it, and she did nothing to change this habit - in fact, she got worse! So, I stopped spending time with her. I felt no need to be around someone who could not respect how I felt about such a matter.

Now friend two and three started to spend a lot of time with friend one, and have picked up her un-lady like ways. Yet again I nicely asked them not to talk like that around me.

Then I was informed that it was rude of me to ask any of them not to talk that way - correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe I'm not at all being rude by nicely asking her not to talk in such a manner. I was also told to "wake up everyone talks like this now."

I'm 17 years old. I don't swear. I honestly don't. Am I wrong to be upset by the way all three of them are talking? I personally feel I wasn't being rude at all. I never meant to cause any harm by it, I only wanted them to "clean up" there act.

I see swearing as a childish habit, that only shows how someone is lacking in vocabulary, and cannot find a proper way to express how they feel. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Am I wrong for asking them to "clean up" there act a little?

You are most definitely NOT WRONG. And I support you 100 percent.

A true friend would understand you being uncomfortable with filthy talk and sexual conversation and would respect your wishes to leave the gutter chatter outside. It's sad these girls didn't turn out to be true friends.

I actually applaud you for standing up for what you believe in and for seeing this type of behavior for what it is -- unrefined, unlady-like and completely appalling.

The excuse your friends used of 'everyone talks like this' is absolutely absurd. Just because 'everyone' is doing it does not make it right and just shows how simple-minded your friends are. And how susceptible they are to picking up horrid habits.

I have many, many, many friends who swear. And while I have never had to ask them not to swear around me, they just don't because they know I don't swear. I encourage you to continue to set a solid example in your conversation and those around you will most definitely take notice. You don't have to stand up and proclaim in a holier-than-thou attitude 'I do not swear, therefore do not swear in my presence.' ... But be an example -- and others will follow.

You're not horrible to want to spend less time with these three friends. People change. They grow apart. This happens in friendships all the time. It's sad that something as fixable as this came between you, but these girls obviously have some growing up to do -- and need a few lessons in refined conversation.

Just another quick tip: Most the guys out there who are worth dating think hearing a woman swear is extremely unattractive ...