Friend's Bossiness Turns Others Cold

Dear Dee:
I have this friend who is really bossy and no one likes her. Everyone pretends to be her friend.

I don't want to invite her to my slumber party but this last few weeks I've been staying at her house and she's been staying at mine. The more time I spend with her I feel guilty for not inviting her to my party. What should I do?

If this girl is your friend, and you enjoy spending time with her ... then invite her! It's your slumber party, it's your house and you're supposed to invite YOUR friends. I know, it's not that simple, right?

You want everyone to have a great time and you think if you invite her, your other friends won't ... well, maybe it's time you had a little chat with your bossy friend. It sounds like you two spend a lot of time together, so take that opportunity to have a heart-to-heart with her. And for once, you boss her around and make her listen to you. Talk to her about the way she makes your other friends feel. Let her know her friendship is important to you but you also want to be able to enjoy other friendships, too. And you can't if she feels she has to boss everyone around. Friendship is a collaboration. And she needs to do a little more of that.

Tell her you're only sharing this with her to help her out and to make her feel more comfortable with your other friends. Also, let her know you don't want to have to choose between her and your other friends.

Look, if you really think about this and phrase it correctly, you can have a great conversation that'll save you tons of heartache and help her overcome a few personality flaws. And if she doesn't listen to you ... you could always invite her over and make her the target of an extreme pillow fight ... then, maybe she'd get the point.

Good luck and have fun. Also, eat a few slices of pizza for me, K? I wish me and my Tinkerbell jammies could come join you!