I'm Stumped: No One Likes Me

Dear Dee:
At school, no one likes me. They all hate me or they all call me a weirdo. I've been called the b-word lots of times. I've recently been broken up with.

I really liked this boy, but, he liked me at first, then when he found out I liked him, he didn't like me. We went out for a couple weeks, but, it seemed like we never went out at all.

I look my best every day, I do everything i can to get boys to like me, but it never happens. I don't know what to do. I'm in the 8th grade and I'm totally stumped!

So Dee, could you please give me some advice?? I really need the help.

Sometimes, getting people to like you is as simple as changing your mindset. Right now, it appears you're doing all the right things, but for all the wrong reasons.

You shouldn't look your best, act your best and put on your best face just so other people will take notice. You should do it because YOU want to. Because you take pride in yourself and you know you deserve to always put your best foot forward. Don't do this stuff for others. Do it for yourself.

See, when we constantly put ourselves out there just to try to get praise from others we almost guarantee we won't get that praise and will be grossly disappointed. This happens all the time -- you know, when you get a great grade and your parents don't praise you or you get a haircut and no one notices ...So it is just better to do these things for yourself -- and when someone notices, it's bonus and an unexpected surprise.

Quite a few things happen emotionally when you start realizing how important it is to be happy with yourself. You'll find people gravitate towards your self confidence and your great attitude. You'll also find that you're happier with life in general because finally, you're doing things because YOU love to do them and because YOU are calling the shots in your life.

And if you ask guys, there are very few things more attractive to them than a girl who knows what she wants, knows why she wants it and is confident in herself.

So, how about you try really, really hard to start working on your self esteem. Stop thinking about what every one else will say if you wear your hair and makeup a certain way and do things the way you like them because you like them.

I promise you'll see your world so much differently and you'll be happier.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dee, you mean well but this advice doesn't work in the real world. People doing their own thing is fine as long as it fits conventional standards. If you're weird, chances are you won't be accepted or liked by anybody. Of course, it's mass culture and other people who decide if you're too weird to be accepted. Chances are this person will be socially excluded irregardless of their confidence levels. It's nice to do your own thing, but if you're weird nobody will approach you at all. Sorry.