Carbon Copy of Crush Is Confused

Dear Dee:
I met this boy a few months ago and he is a real cutie. But it kind of seemed like I was out of my league. He had a girlfriend for the longest time who was this beautiful, kind, blond girl who was stick thin.

But now they've been broken up. I keep trying to be quiet about the fact I like him, even though he knows.

I've cut my hair for him, I've changed the way I dress for him. And either he doesn't notice or he does notice and just doesn't care.

His ex-girlfriend keeps trying to hook me up with him but then turns around and acts like she still loves him. It makes me feel all weird, like my heart's been ripped to shreds, when I'm standing next to them and they'll kiss or something.

And when she like, say, slaps his butt or squeezes it, he blames it on me. Even though I'm major shy around him and he knows I wouldn't do such a thing. I'm confused and not sure what to do. I really like him, and I think I just come across as a bit creepy or something.

Sure, I have a picture of him in my locker, my hair's the same style as his and I write his initials on my stuff, but doesn't everyone do things like that when they have a crush on someone?

I just got a crush on his best friend. Who has a Mohawk about a foot tall. And I doubt my mom would appreciate that. What should I do, Dee?

I've noticed you give great advice and I just hope I haven't confused you or anything.

OK. The haircut ... the clothing ... the pictures . .. yes, I would say there is a distinct possibility you're creeping him out a little bit. You've most definitely taken this crush too far -- actually, to the point of obsession. And frankly, if he wrote to me telling me there was a girl at his school who cut her hair to match his, was dressing the same as him and had pictures of him all over her locker, I'd tell him to stay away from you. Sorry. I'm just tellin' it like it is here.

You've got to back off. You've got to pull yourself together and be your own person. Wear what YOU want. Do your hair in your own style. Don't change for some guy -- and definitely don't become a girl version of your crush. It won't win you the guy. It will simply alienate him.

Also, about his ex-girlfriend 'helping' you ... She's doing no such thing. She's playing you and making fun of you. She's also proving she is calling the shots by swaying back and forth between liking/disliking him. She is NOT on your side. She is NOT trying to help you.

Look, crushes are 100 percent normal. But there is a healthy way to handle to deal with them and an unhealthy way ... Right now, you should concentrate on your own identity and being comfortable with yourself and who you are. And also, be proud of yourself and confident! You're worth liking for YOU -- not because you will change to suit what you think someone else wants.

If I say anything worthwhile here, it's this: Your self-worth is not found in what you can do to make people like you. It's in your individuality and the person you are independent of others. So work towards this. Come out of the shadows of trying to please and emulate everyone else. Find yourself.

And PS ... DON'T GET A MOHAWK.