Being Honest About Shipping Out

Dear Dee:
Just wondering if you would have any suggestions for me. I need to tell my girlfriend I enlisted in the Marine Corps and will be leaving June 17. I don't have a clue how to tell her.

First off, let me tell you how much I admire you choosing a career in the military. Regardless of whether it's because you want to be a career marine or because you need help paying for college, this is a noble, admirable thing to do -- especially in times like these were soldiers are serving in so many dangerous places.

But right now, it would seem you have a little battle to fight on the home front with your girlfriend. I do kind of want to scold you for not talking to her earlier. If this girl is ‘the one' for you, and you want her to wait for you, you should've trusted her enough to tell her and allow her to be involved in the decision. Instead, you've forced her to deal with a decision she had absolutely no part of, in a relationship where she's a 50 percent stakeholder. But since I know you're probably in turmoil over this, I won't scold. But I just wanted to say that for the record.

At this point, when your leaving is really only a few short days away, you have to just come out and say it. You can't sugarcoat it, you can't downplay what is about to happen in your relationship. You've just got to tell her and have confidence enough in your relationship that it can take this huge news and survive it. Since I don't know how serious your relationship is, it's hard for me to say what your leaving could imply. But if you want her to wait for you, than make sure you tell her how much you treasure her and need her to stick with you through this time in your life. Let her know how much her support would mean to you and how much her letters/pictures and phone calls will help make the time you're apart go by so much faster.

Just be honest. And truthfully, you should apologize for not telling her sooner. I wish you the best and ask that you keep yourself safe, and know that all of us here at home are extremely grateful for your sacrifices.