Pregnancy Fears

Dear Dee:
I am in currently in high school and I have a problem: I think I am pregnant. I don't know what to do. I can't tell my mother because sex before marriage is a major taboo. I am still with my boyfriend and he doesn't even have a clue. I have been having symptoms, like throwing up and I have missed my period for the last three months. Please give me some advice, because I don't know what to DO!!!!

The first thing you need to do is take a pregnancy test. If it is positive, you need to make an appointment with your doctor immediately. If you need a more anonymous approach, find out if there is a Planned Parenthood near you. They can help you decide what the next step is for you, and everything that goes on there stays private (i.e., they won't go running to your mom to tell her what you've been up to). And you pay only what you can, so if you tell them you are a student, you shouldn't have to pay much, if anything.

That said … you really DO need to talk to your mom about this. She can help you sort out the difficult time ahead. Even if she’s really angry and disappointed in you at first, she’s your mom and she loves you. And -- this is where I get tough on you -- if you’re mature enough to be having sex, you should be mature enough to take care of your health and be able to talk to your parents about your situation. Tough, huh?

If you take the pregnancy test and it's negative, I still recommend a visit to Planned Parenthood. They will talk to you about contraceptives, which it sounds like you need. And if you don’t know how to talk to your boyfriend about this sort of thing, then you definitely shouldn’t be having sex now. Good luck -- I wish you the best.