Getting Comfortable With Kissing

Dear Dee:
I'm a 14-year-old boy and I've been dating for three years. My current girlfriend is my age and we met last year. We both know we're not ready for sex yet, but at the same time I want her to get more comfortable with kissing. Every time I try to kiss her I can tell she really doesn't want to. Why does she do this and how can I make her more comfortable with me?

What is up with all the displays of affection questions today! Wow! Yeah, yeah. I know it's summer.

So, I'm gonna throw some things out there, and please don't be offended. Just take these suggestions/tips at face value and act on them if you want to. Maybe one will solve your girlfriend's kissing phobia.

How's your breath? MANY MANY girls (and guys, I bet too) are totally turned off by kissing because of bad breath. Seriously. I've known some (myself included) who've been known to GAG because it.

Are you a slobbery kisser? Hey, don't knock the messenger. Some girls can't stand the spittle. And if you're a drooler, then she may not be a willing participant until she can forego wearing a baby bib.
How's your positioning? Awkward is the main word used when some people kiss. Are you guys bumping heads or hitting noses because someone doesn't quite know what they're doing? Two words: Pillow practice.

Tack down the tongue. While some girls dig tongue action, others, especially novice kissers don't. So keep yours in your own mouth and just give sweet kisses. As your relationship develops, the tongue might come into play ... but not right now.

Timing is everything. Hey, it's cliché, but it ain't no lie. You might feel the need to kiss, but does she? Are you trying to plant on her when YOU want it, but not when she does? Don't be selfish. Be an accommodating kisser and wait until the time is right for both of you.

Are the feelings really there? Check with her. You say she's never into kissing. Well ... why? It could be shyness, but it could also just be that's she's not attracted to you in that way. It's better to ask these questions now than waste your time and paranoia.

Those are just some baseline tips to maybe help you out. If you feel like you have all of those under control, sounds like you need to talk to her. Maybe she's just not comfortable yet with showing affection or maybe she's not ready for kissing. You're not going to know until you ask her. And if you're old enough to kiss, then you're old enough to talk about it. So give it a shot.