Name-Calling Friends?

Dear Dee:
My friends at school call me a retard at lunchtime. I told them to stop it but they won't listen. What should I do when they call me a retard?

First of all, anyone who calls you names like this is not your friend -- especially if he or she won’t stop when you ask them to. Secondly, calling people retard is extremely rude, disrespectful to those with mental disabilities and very unkind.

The bottom line is that this type of name calling is beyond a social faux pas. It’s cruel. How would they feel if a mentally disabled person crossed their path as they were saying it? Let me tell you from experience, this would make any person feel horrible. (Yes, I have done it ... in the 7th grade ... and I NEVER used the word again. The girl who heard me was my pastor’s mentally disabled daughter, and she cried.) This word, to the handicapped is offensive and equates to a racial slur.

Anyway, ranting aside ... your ‘friends’ (though I still doubt the validity of that claim) need to grow up. You need to tell them in no uncertain terms it bothers you. And if they don’t, you need to spend your lunch time with a more respectful group of people, ones who actually value you and listen to you.