New School, New Friends, Way-Bad Manners

Dear Dee,
I'm 12 years old and I go to a prep school. A lot of the kids there are really rich and snobby.

I just started this year and previously went to public school for six years. I miss all of my old friends so much. They were never like the peers at my new school. I had a sleepover two months ago, and invited my old and new schoolmates. My mom was appalled at the behavior of my new friends and didn't want me hanging out with them anymore.

On the other hand, she thought my old friends were very polite. My mom is especially worried I am going to start acting the same way as my new schoolmates. I would love to go to public school again, but the one I'm zoned for is so bad -- there have been stabbings there.

I'm so confused. Please help, Dee. I feel like you're the only one I can talk to.

Thank you so much for the confidence you have in me. It really means a lot to me to have all of you faithful readers and question askers. I love knowing I help in a small way.

I can understand why your parents would send you to a different school if they're worried about your safety, but they can't expect you not to hang out with anyone while you're at school. That's just unrealistic and would make your school time miserable.

Just let your mom know you're just as appalled by your new friends' behavior as she is and you're really hoping you can be a positive influence on them. Assure her you will stay true to yourself and the way she's brought you up.

You could very well be exactly what this new group of friends needs. You can help them understand how important it is to treat people well, act respectful and be more down-to-earth. Figure out not-so-obvious ways to let them know some of their behavior is unacceptable. Don't call them out on it in every situation, but figure out clever ways to counter their actions with what's right. With any luck, they'll catch on and learn something from you!

Don't forget about your 'old' friends. They'll keep you grounded and in touch with reality. It's OK to associate with both groups, and it's awesome you have that opportunity. So many people are only exposed to a single group of people and don't learn anything about social acceptance and having a multitude of friends. So while it may not seem like it sometimes, you are lucky in that regard. Make the most of it and help all your friends learn to accept and respect each other.