Want a Baby? REALITY CHECK

Dear Dee:
I am 16 years old and I want a baby. I have wanted a baby since I was 15. I haven't told anyone because I am afraid of their reaction and whether or not they will talk to my parents about it.

I have joked around with my parents asking what they would do if I came home and was pregnant, but they brushed me off saying "that better not ever happen".

I don't have a boyfriend as of now, and I know any guy I would go with wouldn't want to either. I know all the responsibilities surrounding having a baby, but I am willing to go through all of that.

Every time I see a person with a baby I get jealous of them and pray I will get pregnant. I have always been mature for my age mentally and emotionally. I have never had to deal with any of the emotional problems my friends have, and I am always the one they go to for advice or help. I don't like any of the guys at my school because almost all of them are immature. What should I do?

What you should do is sit back and give yourself a huge reality check. I have no doubt in the world you think you want a baby. But I also know that if you had one, you'd want to be able to care for it, feed it and make sure everything in his/her world was perfect.

At 16, you can't do that. The motherly instincts you're having are awesome -- but they should also tell you that there is a right way and a wrong way to bring a child into this world. And what you are talking about is 100 percent the wrong way. You need to do things right and responsibly -- have a plan and allow your baby the chance to have two parents -- not just one who selfishly had a baby just to have a baby. I don't mean to belittle your feelings. You sound like a girl who genuinely loves and values babies and life. And as someone who's always loved babies myself, I think that is fantastic.

But I have been through teen-age motherhood. And while I came through it a better person, I also realize that every single hope, dream and goal in my life could've been achieved in an easier way -- not the road I had to follow because of some careless choices. I don't regret my life, but I do regret how hard things were on my son when it was just him and I. The experiences definitely taught me that there is a purpose and a plan to how things should be done -- and while that plan is circumvented quite often, it doesn't diminish the fact it's the RIGHT plan.

So please, get a puppy for now and hold off on the baby thoughts right now -- knowing full well that you will continue to hone your mothering skills, dream of children in years to come and do things in such a way that it is right, perfect and beautiful for all of you. You and your future family deserve that.