Growing Up Hurts Our Parents ... So ...

Dear Dee:
I've always heard about how parents don't like to think of their children growing up. I love my parents to death and I don't want to hurt them by growing up. I'm the oldest so I don't have anyone to talk to. What should I do?

What you should do is make your parents proud of you by being the kind of young adult they raised you to be. You can't help growing up. So don't be silly about that. It's something we all have to deal with and as parents; we seriously do get over it -- especially when we realize the adults our children have become are products of what we've taught them and how we encouraged them to be individuals with goals and big plans.

When I think about kids growing up from a parenting angle, I often come to this conclusion: While the kids are entering a new phase of their lives by going out on their own, parents are also entering another phase. They are no longer the providers, the nurturers and the decision-makers they once were for those grown children. They are now observers, offering opinions when warranted, and taking on a more supporting role, rather than a dominating role. It's scary for parent and child.

But hey, it's something we have to go through -- so it's manageable. Just be gentle with your parents, do your best to be the kind of person you know you should be and it will be great. They'll be proud, you'll be happy and life will just be ... a rollicking happy cliché I don't even want to waste space repeating ...