True Friendship or False Feelings?

Dear Dee:
I am 14 years old and in 8th grade. My best friend and I have been best friends for awhile, and I think of her as a sister.

She bought tickets to go see Fall Out Boy in concert weeks before the concert. I was slightly jealous, but that didn't matter because I was happy for her. The week of the concert, I won tickets to go to the concert and meet the band! I was so happy and I thought she would be happy for me but instead she was so jealous and upset.

She started being really rude to me. Then at the concert I got an autographed picture of them and I wanted to get one for her but we were only allowed one. When I got back from the concert, she said she wanted the picture. I told her if I had an extra I would give it to her in a second. She got mad at me and won't even talk to me now. She even told everybody that she was "done with me."

She hurt my feelings and I really miss her. I cry about it a lot. How can I get through this?

Wow -- friendship ruined by Fall Out Boy, huh? If that's not a song title ...

Anyway, what you've described above is the epitome of selfish friendship that's more superficial than anything else -- at least on one person's side. There is no reason your friend should've asked or expected you to give her YOUR picture. And while it is human nature to sometimes be a little green with envy, she should've been able to curb that and taper it with excitement for the fact one of you got to meet your favorite band.

I am sorry to say, it sounds like the friendship ran deeper on your side than it did on hers and your former friend's actions are shallow, immature and direct reflection on the fact that she's kind of a spoiled brat. When she had tickets and you didn't, did she offer to take you? Did you ‘demand' a ticket? Did you storm off in anger when she didn't give you one? While I only know your side of the story, it sounds like none of those things happened. You were jealous, naturally, but happy she was getting the opportunity to go, right?

It's very unfortunate you had to learn your friend's true colors this way -- and it's even worse that a friendship you had so much time and emotion invested in has to end in such a stupid, ridiculous way -- but it's a lesson learned. Now you know how silly material things can come between and friendship, and how real friends strive not to let it by focusing on the value of friendship rather than the tangible objects one friend can give another. Just hang in there. Just as with any loss, you have to deal with it, grieve and then move on. And while it might take awhile, you'll realize, when you find a true friend, that what you previously had with this girl wasn't the real thing.