Dodging Perfection

Dear Dee:
There's this guy I talk to and I've known him for about a year. He's really sweet and really quite perfect.

We went to church camp together recently and I don't know but I think I like him. My feelings are so mixed up on this because he's perfect and I'm really not. Since we've gotten back I've been kind of avoiding him at swim meets because I don't know what to say to him.

I can see that he can tell I'm avoiding him and it bugs him. I feel like I've made this so complicated and I'm confused. What would you do?

I agree with you on this one. You have made this complicated. And you've created issues that aren't really there. Because you know what? No one is perfect. So you thinking that you're not good enough for him is totally wrong.

Now, if you're just not sure of your feelings and you don't want to enter into a relationship unless you're sure it's the right thing to do, then that's one thing and is actually valid; but if you're avoiding him just because you think he's too good for you, but you know you like him, then that's just silly.

Figure out your feelings based on what you know you like in a guy, how he makes you feel when you're around him and how he is around you. Don't worry about anything else! Seriously! If he likes you and you like him, then go for it and don't jinx the relationship by entering it thinking you don't deserve him - because then it will be doomed to fail. Be confident and understand that he likes you for you - not because you are anything other than what you are! (Hey, he probably thinks you're perfect, too!)

Anyway, bottom line is don't sell yourself short. Figure out how you feel then go with it. Stop avoiding him, because that's not fair to the friendship you've already established. And as a friend, you owe him an explanation for your behavior and you owe him honesty.