Not-So-Hip Granny Not Worth Time?

Dear Dee:
Sometimes I have problems communicating with my grandmother. She's 75 and she's always forgetting things. Or she has to ask me a million times to repeat what I said because I mumbled.

She doesn't understand anything about the latest technology and when I do try and teach her the difference between a DVD, CD, Gameboy, Playstation and VHS, she'll forget the next time I talk to her about it. I have no problem telling her once but I do not like repeating myself.

It’s not just "the latest" technology either. She doesn't even know bands or music from the '80s. She never wants to learn to love music any more updated than Elvis or Perry Como. She knows some things, like significant things, but it’s hard trying to teach her about the ways of a teenager in 2006.

Here’s the thing. The time you spend with your grandma should not hinge on how hip, up-to-date or tech-savvy she is.

What your grandmother knows, the times she experienced, what she lived through and the events of her day are what define her life. While she wants to be informed now, and you’re key in doing that, the bulk of her life was lived in a time much different than now.

You should be spending time with her because you value her as your grandmother, because you want her advice and insight on different situations you’re experiencing, which she’s already experienced. Quite a few issues we have these days aren’t actually new. Peer pressure, drugs, abuse, bad grades, sex, etc. -- all of those things have, um, always been around.

You’re really getting hung up on the wrong things here. Your grandma doesn’t need to know the difference between a record player and a DVD player to be a good grandma. All she has to do is love you and want to spend time with you. That’s what grandmas do. They don’t sit down and listen to Panic! at the Disco with you; they don’t quote all the hits off the latest Jay-Z ... because if they did, you’d think they were trying too hard to be cool.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Just rethink the reasons you should be hangin’ with Granny and when you feel yourself getting irritated, step back and remember the memories you make with her right now will last you a lifetime. And you spending time with her right now is giving her more joy than you could imagine.