I'm Crushing on a Girl

Dear Dee:
I am a girl, and I think I am falling head-over-heels in love with this other girl at my school. I don't want to!

I don't want to because even though I really think I like her, or even love her, a lot of people I know think being gay is weird. Also, I'm way on the less-attractive side and that makes it 10 times harder than the already impossible situation. I've never thought about girls before her. I have always liked guys, but she has really stolen my heart since the first time I saw her.

This girl hardly knows my name, let alone who I am. She is so amazing and I think I'm in love. This has been going on for a year and a half. I haven't told anybody because someone I know recently came out and my friends aren't acting too cool about it.

I so badly want to talk to someone about it but I can't. And finally, how wrong is it being ‘homosexual'?

Don't try to make a snap decision on your sexuality based on your feelings for one person. That is like my saying I am a biker chick because I think motorcycles are cool. Because you have feelings for one girl does not automatically make you a lesbian. It just means you're working through questions, situations and issues that will shape your realization about who you are. And that's just a part of life.

I can't tell you whether to act on your feelings or not. But I can tell you to take things slowly, don't jump to conclusions, and don't worry about what those around you say or think. This is not about them -- it's about you. And if you are confident in your decisions, then what they say or do shouldn't affect you. Your true friends will stand by you no matter what and those who aren't will fall by the wayside. And it's those kinds of friends you're better off without, anyway.

Again, I can't tell you whether being gay is right or wrong for you. This is a personal issue you have to figure out for yourself, and what others believe shouldn't influence it. This is about you, not them.