Dating Your Best Friend's Brother

Dear Dee:
I'm 13 and so is my best friend. I'm dating her older brother who is 14. Whenever they get into a fight, they pull me into the middle of it and make me choose between them and if the one I didn't side with gets into trouble it makes me feel really bad. I don't want to break up with him, but I don't want to lose my friendship either. If you could tell me what to do I'll be very grateful.

OK. So first off, it's juvenile and petty for your friend and your boyfriend to call you in to solve their spats. They should both be mature enough to handle and solve their own sibling rivalries without calling in reinforcements. If they're not, then they both need to grow up. Seriously.

Secondly, you shouldn't allow them to put you in this position. Stand up for yourself. Speak up. Let them know you're her friend and his girlfriend and you will not be used in this manner. It violates what true friendship is and most definitely has nothing to do with the girlfriend/boyfriend relationship.

Lastly, if you can't stand up for yourself in this matter and your friend/boyfriend won't recognize the inappropriateness of what they're doing, I'd have to say you're probably not ready to be in a dating relationship. Because emotional maturity and basic ‘growing up' would teach you that putting someone in the middle of personal arguments is immature and irresponsible.

Sorry to be harsh. But ... it's the truth.