City Girl Wants to Live With Mom

Dear Dee:
My parents just split up over the summer. It does not bother me, but yet everyone thinks it does. I want to live with my mom because I love being out in the city, but I don't know how to tell my dad. What should I do?

This is a conversation you need to have with both your mom and your dad together -- so no one feels like they're being ganged up on or ambushed.

Remember both your parents want what's best for you. And while they need to know what you would like to do, the ultimate decision is still theirs. So go to them, let them know how you feel, and make sure you emphasize this doesn't mean you love one more than the other, or favor one over the other -- that it's all about location, location, location.

I am sure they'll listen to you, take it under consideration and then go from there. They might go for it; they might not. They may know something about the city schools or the area your mom lives in or other personal reasons that would make this an impossible choice for them. So make sure you are ready for whichever scenario (Good or bad) and are ready to deal with it.

It is also key that you take their decision with respect and do not whine, complain or gripe about it. You're asking your parents to let you have a say in your living arrangements, which is a very grown up, responsible decision. So, if they don't go your way, act like an adult about it and let them know you understand. But ask if they'll reevaluate at a certain point. Bottom line: Complaining gets you nowhere, while respect for their authority and acceptance can eventually get you what you want. Good luck!