Long-Time Friend Has to Go

Dear Dee:
I sent this problem to my school newspaper advice column, and they had no idea how to help.

All of the signs lead to the fact that one friend I have known for a long time has got to go. She is WAY too temperamental, and she makes unfounded assumptions. I know I have got to let her go somehow, but I am a people person, and don't want anyone mad at me. How do I "break up" with her?

It's no secret even the best of friends pull apart. We change! Our interest change, our tastes change, and sometimes we just don't mesh with people we used to be glued to.

Don't worry about it. While it is sad, it sounds like you're at the point where it's time to sever the ties if the relationship can't be salvaged.

My suggestion would be for you to start seeking other friendships, stop spending as much time around this girl and try to ease out of the tight relationship. Pull away some. See if that eases your frustration with her. If it doesn't, back off some more.

Now, if she does start asking you why you're pulling away, you're going to have to tell her. But do so in a non-accusing way and try to be kind. She will probably get upset and get mad, but that's just a chance you'll have to take. In a lot of ways, breaking up with a friend is worse than a boyfriend/girlfriend. So even though you're fed up with her now, don't be surprised if you miss her a little, too. Remember, good friends are hard to find. So be careful and make sure it's what you want.