Parents Fight Over Messiness

Dear Dee:
My parents were fighting because my mom thinks my dad is a total slob, and he is embarrassing. They have been married for 15 years, and my dad has never learned.

They were going on about it for at least 45 minutes, and I was shocked and scared. What do I do? Will they divorce?

No one knows what is really going to happen between your parents except your parents.

But generally, married people have fights! That's all there is to it. They fight because life is stressful, both parents have responsibilities, and there never seems to be enough time to get everything done. So, the stress builds up and they take it out on each other. This just happens.

I'd say most fights between married couples end up being forgotten about by the next day and don't do any damage to the relationship. They're just spats! And we all have them -- especially when you've lived with someone for 15 years who doesn't know how to put down the toilet seat or pick up dirty clothes off the floor. Fights are gonna happen.

Hey, I am by no means making light of the fighting because I know it can be difficult. But I want you to realize sometimes, arguments happen because they have to -- to facilitate change or make a situation better. So it serves good purposes, too. Maybe your dad will clean up a little out of respect for your mom every now and then, just because of this fight.

So, don't worry about it. Really. It'll be OK. Know your parents have your best interests at heart. It is not their intention for you to get upset because you hear them fighting. But it just happens. If it really bothers you, let them know. I am sure they'd try to keep that in mind before the next round of the "you're a slob" grudge matches.